What are you thinking about right now?

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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby AbbyGray » Thu Mar 29, 2018 4:38 pm

You right, I do need a better fame it better. Focus on preventing stress eating would be the first! Eat so much chocolate and crips in the pass few days it's set my ibs off again.
Don't eat the purple cheese. Pratchett
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby kris » Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:08 pm

I almost never touch chips as it never ends with eating just one bag. But with a very selective interpretation of popular science articles I have come to the conclusion that chocolate is practically a health food, especially something like praline-filled milk chocolate. Dairy, nuts and cocoa? Practically a balanced meal.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Ashley@Heart » Fri Mar 30, 2018 12:47 am

It's wierd for me, a bag of chips and salsa and I am done for. Something with so much chocolate in it you can smell the cacao in it from a few feet away and you got me. Milk is another one. I will drink that without thought.

But I find myself loosing my taste for beef. I don't crave it like I did pre-hrt. And yes really any carbs taste like heaven just about. I have always had a sweet tooth but this is getting silly. My hope is that I can find someone to help me find a healthy body weight and eating habits that will aid in my transition. As right now I am stuck warring between the part of me that wants to be rail thin to shrink my masculine structure and the other that feels the need for more curves and softness. Right now the part of me that wants my tummy gone is winning.
-Carolyn

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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Lucy-chan » Fri Mar 30, 2018 2:12 pm

Fish, chips, and a bottle of. White wine....,

Rest in peace Jesus. I don't think you were the messiah. But, I love your message....
If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Medli » Sat Mar 31, 2018 9:31 am

What is this chest pain, how concerned should i be, and what do i do
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby AbbyGray » Sat Mar 31, 2018 2:04 pm

Medli wrote:What is this chest pain, how concerned should i be, and what do i do

Depending on were it is.
Don't eat the purple cheese. Pratchett
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Mae » Sun Apr 01, 2018 6:43 am

Wishing this sinus infection would go away! Came out fully to Mom yesterday- she said she loves me and her door is still open to me but she is not fully accepting yet. Left her with some links to some articles and you tube videos. My younger brother still lives at home and he already knows and is very supportive. Hopefully that will help Mom. That coupled with this damn infection has left me drained. Thinking I will go back to bed......
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby AbbyGray » Sun Apr 01, 2018 3:13 pm

This link helped my mum a fare bit.

https://www.gires.org.uk/information-an ... er-people/
Don't eat the purple cheese. Pratchett
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Mae » Mon Apr 02, 2018 4:24 am

Thanks Abby, looks like lots of great info there. I was unable to make the short drive (75miles) home yesterday but I did call her and we spoke for awhile it was nice- thinking she is going to fine with time. She is almost 70 and her parents were borderline Mennonites (cannot remember the name of there church, they had no TV in there home for example).
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby PentacleGoddess » Tue Apr 03, 2018 7:50 am

That rereading Venus Envy is good for some nostalgia, but holy shit some of the gender politics in that comic are waaaaaay outdated.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby PlasmaChaos » Wed Apr 04, 2018 9:32 am

What the name 'Luca' means (which was followed up by a Google search) XD
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Medli » Wed Apr 04, 2018 9:54 am

Why does Shaggy have a red shirt in some appearances? What time span was red shirt shaggy in? And was there ever an in universe reason or acknowledgement of it?
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby tiffany_elizabeth » Wed Apr 04, 2018 11:51 pm

Medli wrote:Why does Shaggy have a red shirt in some appearances? What time span was red shirt shaggy in? And was there ever an in universe reason or acknowledgement of it?


I never even saw Shaggy in a red shirt. I looked it up, though, and he wore it in The 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo (one of the 80s series) and three movies. Even though I watched Scooby Doo in the 80s it was reruns of the 60s version that I saw. The "current," or Saturday morning episodes conflicted with He-Man and She-Ra so I watched Scooby Doo on weekday afternoons and never saw Shaggy in anything but a green shirt.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby SophieCantDance » Thu Apr 05, 2018 12:08 pm

The problem with clothes is that I want them all. When I was hiding in the closet, I used not giving a shit about my appearance as a defense mechanism, which mostly worked. It was much easier to not see what could be (as it were) when my reflection was some grungy, dirty, hippie with just like the worst, most disgusting goatee.

Now though, every time I see a cute top, or a bag, or shoes, I am fighting a near overpowering urge to buy it to see if it looks cute on me....which is not great for my pocketbook as you can imagine.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby AbbyGray » Thu Apr 05, 2018 3:23 pm

SophieCantDance wrote:The problem with clothes is that I want them all. When I was hiding in the closet, I used not giving a shit about my appearance as a defense mechanism, which mostly worked. It was much easier to not see what could be (as it were) when my reflection was some grungy, dirty, hippie with just like the worst, most disgusting goatee.

Now though, every time I see a cute top, or a bag, or shoes, I am fighting a near overpowering urge to buy it to see if it looks cute on me....which is not great for my pocketbook as you can imagine.


total feel you there, although had a beard as it ment not needing to look in the mirror.
Don't eat the purple cheese. Pratchett
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Zoey M » Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:46 pm

My son making the right choice in his life,said he plans to enlist in the Marines.He is 18 and wants to do something in his life.The recruiter came by tonight and saw it would be good for him.I am supportive of him doing this since he graduates in June.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby AbbyGray » Sun Apr 08, 2018 3:19 pm

Feeling very accepted today by my mum. She's staying over to look after the little one as his on half term. So she and him did some drawings. My little boy asked her to draw "daddy" so she drawed the pic below.
ImageDSC_0001 by Abby Gray,
I
Don't eat the purple cheese. Pratchett
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby SophieCantDance » Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:11 am

Heart breaking Abby. That is so amazing!
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby kupkeix » Sat Apr 14, 2018 12:04 pm

Ibeyi's song "Deathless" :
Whatever happened
Whatever happens
We are deathless

I love them so much! Tune in for some positive vibes! Ibeyi!!!
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby AbbyGray » Sat Apr 14, 2018 2:51 pm

Went to TransMCR today, a mix of support, workshops on voice, stress, health , and talks. With a most exerllent talk about British trans history by Christine Burns. It nice to start seeing other trans people regularly, as my nervousness of meeting new people is subsiding and I am more relaxed. Feeling pretty good about life. Also got to wear my new dress in the warm sunshine for the first time. Still worried about imploding, but that's just nerves about going full time at work at the end of next week.
Don't eat the purple cheese. Pratchett
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Ashley@Heart » Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:54 pm

I am nervous, my stomach won't settle. I am in my hotel room and tommorow I will be seeing a surgeon. And then trying to figure out what to do with myself after. Likely hang out in the Phoenix airport as I have to check out before my appointment.
-Carolyn

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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Lucy-chan » Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:47 pm

Im off this week. And I'm thinking.... Seriously thinking, about making a doctor's appointment to get the ball rolling on getting a referal to a gender clinic..

If I want to start transition when I'm 40, I'll need to get on a waiting list now.

Or..... I could just chicken out.....
If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby kris » Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:50 pm

Make the appointment. You will still have time to chicken out later if need be.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby AbbyGray » Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:51 pm

Lucy-chan wrote:Im off this week. And I'm thinking.... Seriously thinking, about making a doctor's appointment to get the ball rolling on getting a referal to a gender clinic..

If I want to start transition when I'm 40, I'll need to get on a waiting list now.

Or..... I could just chicken out.....


Considering the waiting list. Get in asap. Was told last week in my phone assessment by the GIC if the waiting times are constant I could get NHS hormone treatment by April 2020. So I will be 41 by then :(
So glad my Gp is doing a shared care package with an bridging service, as that means by that April I will have been on them for more than two years. :-D
Don't eat the purple cheese. Pratchett
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Lucy-chan » Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:38 pm

AbbyGray wrote:
Lucy-chan wrote:Im off this week. And I'm thinking.... Seriously thinking, about making a doctor's appointment to get the ball rolling on getting a referal to a gender clinic..

If I want to start transition when I'm 40, I'll need to get on a waiting list now.

Or..... I could just chicken out.....


Considering the waiting list. Get in asap. Was told last week in my phone assessment by the GIC if the waiting times are constant I could get NHS hormone treatment by April 2020. So I will be 41 by then :(
So glad my Gp is doing a shared care package with an bridging service, as that means by that April I will have been on them for more than two years. :-D


Can you do a phone assessment? How does that work? Do you still have to go through your gp???
If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby AbbyGray » Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:22 pm

The service is all online and via a Skype appointments. I have my Gp involved as she says she will do all the bloods tests as they are needed to help reduce the cost and when I have been on them for 6 to 9 months and the dose stable she will take on the percribeing.

You have to fill out a couple of surveys, pay the set up fee £200 and a fee of £70 for the hour long session with the therapist. If they think your good to go they will report back to the main Dr's who when send a second survey which you basically explane why your doing it and what your expecting from the medication. Your plans such as going full time etc. It's a lot of writing but it gets your point across and helps explane. Not so much gate keeping but checking that you know what your doing. I think it's referred to as the informed consent approach.
After which it's £30 a month fee for scripts and also any advice you need. And them the meds them self's are about £15 to 20 month. From first email to estrogen patches though the door was a little over 4 weeks.
There are other services which have larger set up fees but smaller monthly. But I just stopped buying diet cokes and other junk to fund it. (also birthday money off the wife for the fees) Don't quote me, but I do believe that if your in a position were funds are limited there is wiggle room. Eg jobseakers.
It's a very useful service and made my life so much better, I hate to think thay the way I feel now would still be years away.

https://gendergp.co.uk/
Don't eat the purple cheese. Pratchett
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby PentacleGoddess » Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:32 pm

Mortality? Harry Anderson (Night Court) died today apparently. On top of that being depressing, while I'm sure people older than me don't need to hear this... being 40 now, it's hard not to occasionally think about the odds being at least even that I have less life ahead of me than I do behind me now.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Bea » Wed Apr 18, 2018 1:56 pm

I probably shouldn't have had an mdma-fueled naked fool-around session with our friend while my boyfriend was asleep in the next room, but it felt really good at the time.

I just find it highly immoral to deny myself pleasure.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby SophieCantDance » Wed Apr 18, 2018 2:02 pm

@Bea
Firstly, hot. Secondly, why didn't you wake up your boyfriend and have an mdma-fueled threesome?
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Bea » Wed Apr 18, 2018 2:27 pm

SophieCantDance wrote:@Bea
Firstly, hot. Secondly, why didn't you wake up your boyfriend and have an mdma-fueled threesome?


Yeah, that's the thing. It was hot, and it still is in my memory. I definitely thought of getting him up, but I didn't know how comfortable he'd be in the context of being awakened after passing out drunk and expecting to perform for an audience of sorts, so I figured I'd stick with the conscious guy I was already naked with in a recently-broken recliner.

I should have at least tried. I feel like a selfish slut and he's definitely mad at me. I wouldn't be mad if the situation were reversed. I forgot what our ground rules for hooking up with other people were supposed to be, but if I ever think he's getting some other action I'm happy for him.
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Re: What are you thinking about right now?

Postby Ashley@Heart » Wed Apr 18, 2018 10:38 pm

PentacleGoddess wrote:Mortality? Harry Anderson (Night Court) died today apparently. On top of that being depressing, while I'm sure people older than me don't need to hear this... being 40 now, it's hard not to occasionally think about the odds being at least even that I have less life ahead of me than I do behind me now.


Turning 48 this year. I consider this a fight to live long enough to have spent more time as myself than hiding. Odds are I will fail. But better to try and fail then to have never tried.
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