Fun thread

Bulletins, Suggestions, and Non Transgender Topics

Re: Fun thread

Postby MikiSJ » Sun Oct 29, 2017 12:47 pm

CeliaEriksson wrote:Alas, the romance ended one foggy morning when he grabbed Embla's bum by mistake...

Back in 1963, Ken and I were best friends in high school. A local Lutheran church used to put on very well attended Saturday evening dances.

I was standing next to Ken on his right and since I am left handed, I used my left hand to reach out and pinch the nicely formed bottom of the tallish blond girl standing directly in fron of Ken, next to her friend. The girl turned around and punched (not slapped, as she was a Catholic school girl) Ken hard on his chin. I, meanwhile, quietly slipped away not wanting to brave the aftermath of my friend and this lovely girl's introduction.

Introduction is definitely the correct term, as Ken and Elizabeth were married after they both graduated from UC Berkeley 6 years later. (And yes, I was invited!)
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Mon Oct 30, 2017 2:56 am

Hi Miki!

Wow, so your pinch did the trick! Got to be better than Cupid's bow!

Celia xx
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:22 am

So after The Purple Prince, Popplezaar made it obvious that he knew Great Aunt Celia was a spy, she had to lay low. She had nowhere to go for it had got to the British that she and Popplezaar were in love and they listed the amazing adventurer as a wanted woman. So she joined an order called St. Helga on the edge of the desolate desert run by Abbess Brunhilda with frequent outside help from Father Godfrey Pugh.

The Abbess Brunhilda and Father Godfrey were very strict and the Convent's silent order was difficult for young Great Aunt Celia. She had lots of hail Mary's and difficult tasks given because she kept breaking it. The order was allowed to speak just once every year, at Candlemas.

The first Candlemas came and all the nuns assembled in the hall for chat time.
"Does anyone wish to say anything?" Abbess Brunhild asked.
The hall was silent for a minute or so. Then Great Aunt Celia put up her hand.
"Sister Celia? Speak your mind child."
"The porridge is awful lumpy Mother Superior, can it be mixed better?"
"Yes, I will talk with Sister Nordberg. Anyone else?"
The nuns stayed silent.

One day Great Aunt Celia was with another young nun, Gunnhilda, they were trying to swipe some of the Gooseberry wine stored in the pantry. When they rounded the corner of the ample pantry they discovered Father Godfrey Pugh with his pants down a-wanking! They ran to get the Abbess who arrived in the pantry as Father Godfrey was buttoning his fly.
"Stop that, you'll go blind, Pugh!"
"Ouch!" The Father replied, catching his thingy in his fly. "Ouch, ouch, ouch!"
"Oh, what now!"
"Never mind, what about your silence vow!" The red-faced Father Godfrey said, walking away in agony.
"It is lifted temporarily in such a case of disgrace!" Abbess Brunhilda said. "In front of such young, innocent eyes!"
"Why is he walking funnily?" Gunnhilda innocently asked.
"Oh, don't worry about that child. God moves in mysterious ways!"

Well Father Godfrey was banished. The next week a meeting was called, all 127 nuns assembled in the hall of the convent.
"I have to break my vow of silence for the second time in a week!" Abbess Brunhilda Announced.
"Ooh!" The nuns oohed.
"Silence! This is a grave matter." The Abbess continued. "Yesterday Sister Edmundsen found this in the orchard, a used condom!"
"Ooh!" 126 nuns oohed.
"Hehehe!" Chuckled Great Aunt Celia."
"And there is something much worse!" The Abbess announced. "I am a woman of the world, it is clear that this condom split during sexual intercourse!"
"Hehehe!" 126 nuns chuckled.
"Ooh!" Great Aunt Celia oohed.

Six months later, the annual chat at Candlemas was called in the hall.
"Any nun wishing to speak may do so. Does anyone have anything to say?" Abbess Brunhilda asked.
The room fell silent. Then the luckily unpregnant Great Aunt Celia put her hand in the air.
"Yes, Sister Celia. What is it?"
"It's the porridge Mother Superior, it's too salty."
"I will talk with Sister Nordberg about that child. Anyone else have anything to say?"
The hall remained silent.

Two nuns were allowed to go out to the local market every fortnight to buy the very few things the Convent needed that they could not make themselves. Those going, were of course allowed to speak outside the Convent. Great Aunt Celia and Gunnhilda had never been given the detail being so young, but this particular day the Abbess had nobody spare, they were all to useful, so the hapless youngsters were told to go by written message and a shopping list.

Great Aunt Celia was brilliant at bartering and bought everything very cheaply, leaving the nuns with 7 yaks, the Desolate Desert currency.
"Let's buy ourselves a big glass of raspberry juice each!" Great Aunt Celia suggested.
"Oh yes, yes, yes!" Gunnhilda replied.
So they went into a bar and had two delicious glasses of raspberry juice. Soon they wanted a wee-wee.
"Barman!" Great Aunt Celia called. "Where is your latrine?"
"Oh, you don't want to go in there!" The barman said.
"Don't be such a silly-billy, we need wee-wees." Gunnhilda chuckled.
"It's not good for such devout ladies!"
"Oh, come on, we are both 22, we're not little girls!"
"But the statue. There is a statue of a nearly naked man!"
"Then we shall look away!" Gunnhilda declared.
"Ok, it's through the green door."
When the nuns came back the barman was smiling from ear to ear.
"You are the naughty, naughty girls!" The barman rocked his head. "Naughty!"
"What?" Great Aunt Celia said. "What are you talking about!"
"We all know!" He said. "When someone lifts the fig leaf, the lights go off!"

Another year passed and it was Candlemas again.
"Does any nun wish to speak!" The Abbess asked.
The hall was silent for a while then Great Aunt Celia put up her hand.
"Sister Celia?"
"It's the porridge Mother Superior, it's too milky!"
"Right! That's it, you are defrocked and out of the convent!" The Abbess declared.
"Why?"
"All this arguing about the porridge is giving me a headache!"

So Great Aunt Celia left and her adventures continued, which I know you will be pleased to hear!
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Fri Nov 03, 2017 10:17 am

Hi Everyone!

Well, I am on my liccle annual vacation from Sunday for one week, I will check in before I go, but I have put all the almost inexhaustible supply of pics and diaries of Great Aunt Celia's back in her travelling case and put it back up in the roofspace ..... musty, cobwebby, grey and very dilapidated, but she was a good Great Aunt! :)

I can assure you all that I will resume her life story when I return to relieve Miki's withdrawal symptoms of not being able to savour and enjoy my superbically narratational, fantastical fun feast. Celia xx
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Re: Fun thread

Postby Lucy-chan » Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:37 pm

My brother was shitting himself during his last prostrate exam. "Could you stop that?" Said the doctor, as he went to wash his hands......
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Re: Fun thread

Postby MikiSJ » Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:51 pm

CeliaEriksson wrote:I can assure you all that I will resume her life story when I return to relieve Miki's withdrawal symptoms of not being able to savour and enjoy my superbically narratational, fantastical fun feast. Celia xx

If I find out that you have not taken your laptop on your liccle vaction I am going to be really annoyed.
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Sun Nov 12, 2017 2:04 am

Hi everyone, I am back from my superbically fantastical brilliantinic hols and I may be a bit bizzy dizzy the next couple of days, but I will resume the fabulous fun totally, honestly true story thread asap!

No Miki, I don't take anything expensyive, laptops and that coz I travel alone and am a bit silly sometimes and lose stuff. I once lost a suitcase in France, yes a big red one, l know!, It had tons of important stuff in it, I got on a train without it and when l went back it had been taken. Also l lost a really expensive camera in Japan too.

It was a very nice and sunny, not hot not cold, and many of the men are frickin' buff! I saw lots of sights, beautiful scenery and managed to play golf, get chatted up a few times and wolf whistled at, which l all enjoyed verily muchly! Celia xx
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Re: Fun thread

Postby MikiSJ » Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:49 am

CeliaEriksson wrote:... I once lost a suitcase in France, yes a big red one, ...

I was going to make some silly comment about you being a ditzy blonde and everything but then I remembered I once went to a motorcycle race but forgot to bring my motorcycle, or the time I went skiing and forgot my skis, or ...

... but, I am not a blonde! :P
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Tue Nov 14, 2017 6:19 am

Hi Everyone!

I used to travel a lot more years ago, so not too bad in reality Miki, I am a bit daft with things though like I have left my purse, (UK: money wallet, not handbag), behind many times. Luckily they were either there or handed in, I have never lost one yet! One Bank Holiday weekend I had to wait from Sunday to Tuesday for a shop to open again..... :roll:

So last night I dreamt about a forest fire. I was not in it, I was watching it and then some posssums came out of it and I gathered them up in my arms and told them they would be ok, then suddenly I was letting them go at my golf club. Then I was calling them back because the manager told me I could not leave them there.

Well, I've never had that one before so I interterpretitted it. I am going to see a big change happen that don't involve me, then I try to help some people understand it, but tell them wrong and they get into trouble.

That is quite very boring snoring to everyone else but me, so I wrote it here because to say I can interprertit dreams and if you have any I shall interprertit them amongst the fantastical fabulotastical fables of this forum fun thread!
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Re: Fun thread

Postby MikiSJ » Tue Nov 14, 2017 11:49 am

CeliaEriksson wrote:So last night I dreamt about a forest fire. I was not in it, I was watching it and then some posssums came out of it and I gathered them up in my arms and told them they would be ok, then suddenly I was letting them go at my golf club. Then I was calling them back because the manager told me I could not leave them there.

We could have used you earlier this month when much of Northern California burned. Over 6,000 houses burnt to the ground with over 50 humans lost. Untold numbers of wild and domestic animals were also lost - along with a countless number of [o]possums.

But, since you are an avid golfer, all of the great golf courses in the Napa Valley survived and you are more than welcome to pack up those [o]possums and let them go somewhere in the Silverado Golf Course - at night, of course, since those little buggers are ugly and will scare the guests.

To your bigger question - I haven't the slightest effing idea what your dream means.
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Re: Fun thread

Postby KoroSensei » Tue Nov 14, 2017 1:26 pm

Of you are here for the Yodeling lessons, please form an orderly orderly orderly que!
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Wed Nov 15, 2017 2:51 am

Well thank you Koro, that is neat as always, your contributions are always welcome!

Miki..... really! Of course I forgive your tragicality towards me at the end of that post, I know you don't mean it :) . I interpretitted my own dream as is written above and was inviting everyone to submit dreams so I can do my amazingly superbical interpretitting for everyone. So if anyone has a dream, let me use my mysticacal all-knowing power to tell you what your nightime nocturnational vision means.... and Possums are very cute! :P

The evidence:

ImageImageImageImageImage
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:13 am

I was astonished reading my Great Aunt's memoirs of 1894 written in 1956 aged 97. It told of her escape from Arabia. Celia of Arabia went to Montevideo upon a Camel Barque bound for there. She then decided to explore the country and bought a Canoe from an American club owner at the Uruguayan port, called Rick who liked the piano and had a pianist called Sam.

I glossed over the reams about the love tale between the two but basically it appears to include Sam, his piano, a German naval Captain, Rick, the British Navy, a special song, a news reporter, a ship scuttling, lots of cigarettes, sundry German, Moroccan, Uruguayan, French and British people and lamentations about time going by or something.

So I decided to write the details here to cheer up Miki who has been through the mill lately and I hope she is feeling well and feeling good soon.

Well, she drove the Canoe up the river and paddling was hard it was against the flow of the mighty River Plate. She had lots of supplies and a friendly pet Rooster called Bert, she'd met in Montevideo. It was quite hot work and soon she was away from civilisation. It cold very cold that night, but understandably Great Aunt Celia did not want to go ashore in the jungle, so she decided to light a fire upon her canoe. Unfortunately it burnt a hole in the bottom and it sank. So she swam ashore with Bert the Rooster on her back. She was met by a naked man with a gun.

"I am Mr. Jinx!" The man said. "Why you come to our land?"
"I am Celia Eriksson, the great Norwegian explorer and spy!" Great Aunt Celia replied. "I was a bit silly, I started a fire to keep warm upon my canoe."
"Ooh. That was silly!" Mr Jinx said, he spoke perfect English you see. "I guess you can't have your Kayak and heat it."
"How true."
"Come we will look after you!"

So Celia of Arabia was a guest of the Pokeepaul tribe. The Chief, Mr. Toms said she could stay but she must work for her keep. Once she had proven herself she could continue her exploring, they would build her a solid wood boat, but it would take some time, for their boat builder Mr. Pirogue was on vacation in Louisiana. So, as Great Aunt Celia liked animals she elected to look after the chickens, she could introduce Bert to them.

"We will build you a house overnight Miss Celia." Chief Toms declared. But tonight you have to sleep with two of my 127 sons. The two that have taken the vow of celibacy. So fear not. I would put you with women, but they are all entertaining me tonight."
"Oh ok."

It was quite a large bed in the Celibate Sons house. Bill and Bob Toms were very nice and told Great Aunt Ceiia that she could sleep in the middle, as it got quite cold that time of year.
In the middle of the night Bob woke up all a sticky and that.
"Oh!" Bob shouted. "I had a dream that I was masturbating and I've come all over my Celibate Cowl!"
"Yikes!" Bill screamed. "Me too. I've come over all unnecessary upon my Celibate Cowl too! I was dreaming that I was a-wanking too!"
"Oh my!" Great Aunt Celia declared. "I'm Norwegian and I was dreaming that I was skiing!"

Next morning, she was shown her new house, a nice little two up and two down, built magnificently and shown the Chicken compound where she would work. There was lots of Chicken, about 300 hens and two Roosters. She introduced Bert to them and Bert quickly dispatched the other Roosters and began to fuck the hens with a passion. Great Aunt Celia chased after him but could not catch him. He did the circuit three times and all the hens eyes were quite crossed as they clucked happily around, queueing up to be fucked.

So Celia of Arabia built a fence around the hens, but Bert's passion was not satisfied, he fucked all the Geese and Duck at the tribe's little town with Great Aunt Celia chasing after him. Finally she gave up and tended the 300 Chicken who slept blissfully that night.

Next morning after collecting eggs she went to look for Bert. She finally found him in a glade, laying on his side not moving, a score of Vulture circling above.
"Oh my Bert!" She exclaimed, seating herself beside the bird. "You silly Rooster! All that fucking and running around, you have died of exhaustion."
"Shhhhh!" Bert shushed, opening an eye. "They will be down in a minute and I can shag 'em all!"

Well Bert was ordered to be caged by Chief Toms and Great Aunt Celia told she must work in the Great Kitchens of the Pokeepaul as the Chicken thing did not work out.

So she was delegated with making pastries in the pastry department of the Great Kitchens. A huge wooden building layered on the sides with dried grass with a grass roof. As she had once worked in Denmark as a young girl making pastries there, she thought she should be head pastry maker. But she was told to sieve the flour and keep an eye on the pastries in the oven, that they do not burn and call the pastry man, Mr. Tibbs when they were golden brown. So she sieved and sieved for hours and checked the pastries. But late in the afternoon a friendly purply Beetle passed her sieving thingy and Great Aunt Celia started to converse with the purply Beetle.

But she forgot about the pastries! Soon flames were licking from the oven! Great Aunt Celia grabbed the pastries and tried to throw them out the door but missed and the building caught fire and burnt down to the ground! She did save the purply Beetle from the flames.

Chief Toms was not happy!
"Every one knows!" He declared. "Pokeepaul that sieve in grass houses should not throw scones!"

Well, he said he'd give Great Aunt Celia one last chance, she could be an observer upon the Great Hunts of Chief Toms. She was to look for animals and report to the royal hunting party the whereabouts of suitable creatures. "Get that bloody boat built!" He told the newly returned Mr. Pirogue from his trip to Louisiana.

Great Aunt Celia was an Eriksson. She hated hunting and secretly misdirected many hunts. It was one Thursday morning she encountered a bear.
"Mr.Bear, the Chief is coming this way. I'll tell them you went that way!"
"I'll face them!" The amazing talking in English Mr. Bear said. "I am a proud Uruguayan Bear!"
"Oh no!" She replied. "Don't do it!"

She ran to the hunting party that was chasing down a Deer type animal. The Chief said the Bear was no match for him, the others should carry on and he would face the Bear with his trusty Winchester type gun thingy. Celia of Arabia was to watch.

He soon found the Bear and fired and missed with all seven shots and the Bear beared down upon him, placed his thingy in front of Chief Toms face and came all over it. "That'll teach you!" said Mr. Bear.

Well, Chief Toms was a proud man. "I'll get that Bear back for that!" he announced the following day. "I'll take my trusty bow and arrow!"

So the following day Chief Toms and Great Aunt Celia looked for and found Mr. Bear. She hid as the battle commenced. Chief Toms fired 17 arrows but they all missed by quite some way and the Bear bore down upon Chief Toms. He stuck his thingy in Chief Toms mouth and came inside his mouth! "I hope you have learnt your lesson!" Mr. Bear said. "Stay away from Mr. Bear!"

"I'll get that pesky Bear tomorrow!" Chief Toms declared through bruised lips. "I'll use my amazing pea-shooter and get him between the eyes!"

So off they went again and soon they found Mr. Bear. Chief Toms blew 47 hard boiled peas at the bear and hit many times but they just pinged off the great beast! Mr. Bear beared down and lifted the Chief's skirt. "This is not about the hunting, is it?" Mr. Bear said.

Mr. Pirogue had finished the boat and all the ladies of the tribe gave Great Aunt Celia a hula farewell as the men cheered. The cross-eyed Chief Toms and his new partner, Mr. Bear, waved from there new house upon the hill as she drove away with her newly finished boat and her adventures continued. :)
Last edited by CeliaEriksson on Sat Dec 09, 2017 1:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Fun thread

Postby MikiSJ » Sun Nov 26, 2017 1:38 pm

CeliaEriksson wrote:Mr. Pirogue had finished the boat and all the ladies of the tribe gave Great Aunt Celia a hula farewell as the men cheered. The cross-eyed Chief Toms and his new partner, Mr. Bear, waved from there new house upon the hill as she drove away with her newly finished boat and her adventures continued. :)

You are driving me fucking nuts!

BTW, Rio de la Plata does not translate to River Plate, but rather The River of Silver.
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Mon Nov 27, 2017 6:19 pm

Well....

...... Source Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C3%ADo_de_la_Plata The Río de la Plata (Spanish pronunciation: [ˈri.o ðe la ˈplata], River of Silver) — River Plate in British English and the Commonwealth, [/b]La Plata River/Plata River in other English-speaking countries
[/i]

:P

https://www.revolvy.com/main/index.php? ... te%20(film :wink:

But as always, I forgive you for doubting the authenicititty of my honestly, totally true stories! Hope you are well Miki! xx :)
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Re: Fun thread

Postby MikiSJ » Mon Nov 27, 2017 10:31 pm

CeliaEriksson wrote:authenicititty

Now, you are probably going to try and convince me that was not a well placed bit of sexual innuendo.
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Re: Fun thread

Postby Lucy-chan » Wed Nov 29, 2017 5:03 pm

CeliaEriksson wrote:Well thank you Koro, that is neat as always, your contributions are always welcome!

Miki..... really! Of course I forgive your tragicality towards me at the end of that post, I know you don't mean it :) . I interpretitted my own dream as is written above and was inviting everyone to submit dreams so I can do my amazingly superbical interpretitting for everyone. So if anyone has a dream, let me use my mysticacal all-knowing power to tell you what your nightime nocturnational vision means.... and Possums are very cute! :P

The evidence:

ImageImageImageImageImage


Kawaii!!!!!!
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:13 am

Yes Lucy, the evidence is overwhelmining, they are all very, very Kawaii!!!! Thank you, I guess other folk don't know true cuteyness when they see it.... tra-la-la-la...-la.... :)
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:21 pm

So here is the definitive list of the most cuteyist wild animals I think the mostest are in the whole wide wonderful whirling world!

(Apologies to all the cute creatures I have forgot about and not listed).

1. Red Panda:

Image

2. Sea Otter

Image

3. Chipmunk

Image

4. Red Squirrel

Image

5. Long-tailed Titmouse

Image

6. Rabbit

Image

7. British Wildcat

Image
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Sat Dec 09, 2017 12:44 pm

So it was, I was reading my Great Aunt Celia Eriksson's journals this afternoon as her Great Exploring Adventures continued up the River Plate, [Br.], (La Plata River/Plata River [USA] :P ).

Well, she was driving her Canoe thing round a corner when it hit a rock! She paddled with all her might and just reached the shore. She unloaded everything and started sending Norse Code messages of Mayday, but as the radio had not been invented in 1894 nobody heard her taps on the side of the tree, except a little band of friendly Skunks.

The skunks felt very sorry for poor Celia of Arabia, so the Head Skunk called all the Skunks and solemnly said "Let us spray for Celia of Arabia!"
"No!" shouted Great Aunt Celia. But it was too late. "I'd have just wanted directions to a friendly village."
"Oops, sorry!" said the Head Skunk and he gave her directions.

So my ancestor, the intrepid spy and explorer, followed the directions and found herself at last in an open glade on the edge of the village where she beheld a very peculilalar sight. Three naked villagers were laying in a row with their thingies erect and upward, pointing to the sky. She watched closely for a while, 'for scientific reasons', she wrote in her massive, almost infinite journal, and approached them.

"What on earth are you doing?" She asked. "Just a-laying there, all oiled up with your thingies pointing heavenwards?"
"Oh!" The first Uruguayan Native said as he spoke perfect English. "We are the village clocks. The Chief, Mr. Brown, he likes to keep good time and to be sure, he has us three dickdial cockclocks. It's our job!"
"What time is it then?"
"It's 3.33 p.m. Standard Llama time." The first Native replied. "And 49 seconds."
"Wow!" Great Aunt Celia wooed. She walked up to the second native. "What time do you have?"
"It's 3.34 p.m. and 10 seconds!" The second native replied.
"Incredible!" She exclaimed. She walked towards the thirdy swarthy native, who suddenly began furiously a-wanking. "My word! What are you doing?"
"I'm winding up the clock!" The third native replied. "At the seventh stroke it will be......"
"Ok, ok!" She said and after eight hours tinkering with and lubricating the village clocks she entered the village.

She was, of course taken to Chief Brown. She told him about having seen the clocks and agreed it was a wonderfully brilliant and invigorating invention.
"We are the Cochsmyff tribe." Chief Brown's Chancellor Mr. Green said. "We take great pride in our self control. Behold, I will ask our General, Mr. Pink to demonstrate!"

The General marched to the middle of the hut and dropped his grass skirt.
"Att..... wait for it, wait for it..... A..a..aten...shun!!!" He bawled and his thingy stood to attention, upright and perfectly still! "Steeeeand....wait for it, wait for it......stand at ease!"
"Oh my!" Great Aunt Celia whispered. The General's thingy sat at perfect right angle to his body.
"On my command!" The General bawled. "Fire!"
But nothing happened.
"Open Fire!" He bawled, his eyes becoming angry. "Fire!!!!!"
But nothing happened. The General then started a-wanking furiously.
"General stop that now!" Chief Mr. Brown said. "Not in front of our guest!"
"Sorry sir, I was just giving it a dishonourable discharge."
Well, the General was sacked on the spot!

Now the Chief decided that this Norwegian maiden was inspiring too much of this naughtiness. He called every man in the tribe into his great hall. Great Aunt Celia, using her spying wiles listened to the goings on.
"Right everyone, wank now!" Chief Mr. Brown ordered.
Much rustling occured. Finally it stopped with a whimper.
"Do it again!"
The rustling began again..... and calm.
"Again!"
Well of course the rustling started again and this continued for several hours, then he banged the floor to stop them.
"Who feels like continuing?" The Chief asked.
"We will do it for you boss!" They all chanted and then the rustling was furious. Suddenly, one held dissent. "I can't Chief, I just can't! I'm all spent, I'm a failure!"
"Thank God. Then it will be you will take Celia of Arabia to the river with my best pirogue!" He announced.

And so her adventures could continue as she paddled away with the men lining the river bank, making an offering to their River Goddess, Boo-kakki.... or at least that's what they said they were doing. My what a sticky episode for our heroine! :mrgreen:
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:36 pm

Well, after all that stickiness, Great Aunt Celia had a swim and then drove her canoe further up the river, but one night it got very cold and not wanting to sink her canoe again with a fire, she went ashore and tried to start a fire on the riverbank to keep her warm.

But she could not get the fire to start. That's very strange! she thought, I tested every one of these matches and they all worked before!

So she went further inland as she could see lights far in the distance, it had to be another tribal camp. She had got to within a few miles of the camp, hacking her way through the undergrowth, when she encountered a native.

"Hello!" She said. "Do you speak English?"
"Es."
"Sorry, do you mean yes?"
"Es, I speak English, ver well. Ou must be the ver famous explorer and sp, Celia Eriksson, es?"
"Es, I mean yes I am. What is your name?"
"Henr."
"Hello Henr." She was puzzled. "Tell me. Why do you speak so funny?"
"Oh, ou see, we learn our language, but we onl learn 25 letters."
"Why not all the 26?"
"We don't know y"
"Oh." Celia of Arabia pondered a while. "But you just said y."
"So I did, wow, you are so clever. Wow, I said it!" The native was very happy. "Tonight you can share my tent. It is very warm, worry not, there will be no hank-pank!"
"Hanky-Panky, you mean."
"No."

So they snuggled into the tent, but around three O'clock Great Aunt Celia awoke. She shook the Native Henr and pointed up.
"Henr, what do you deduce from the stars?"
"Oh, how wondrous they are Miss Celia! Millions of them, spread across the sky! I deduce they are the souls of my ancestors. What do you deduce from them?"
"Your tent has been pinched?"
"Oh yes."
"Well we can't risk frostbite on our noses. Take me to your Chief."
"Can't do."
"Why not?"
"Chief Bob, reached 60 felt unhealthy, went for run."
"Well, that's ok."
"No, he 80 now, nobody see him."
"Ok, we go to village."
"No, I am on duty as watchman. You continue through here. The forest of the Ghosts."
"Ghosts?" Great Aunt Celia quivered. "Gulp. Please take me."
"Oh, it's just a name." Henr laughed. "I've never seen any ghosts, ghoulies or spectres in this forest in all my years!"
"Thank heavens. How many years is that then?"
"594."
"Gulp!"

So Great Aunt Celia ran as fast as her little legs would carry her when she bumped into a very bedraggled man running towards her. He wore a silver crown and was leading an Antelope upon a leash.
"Chief Bob!" She shouted. "Is it you?"
"Aye matey!"
"Oh hello Chief Bob, I'm Celia Eriksson, famous explorer and spy! Can I go to your village to keep warm!"
"Aye matey!"
"Well, yes aye to you too, but I already said hello."
"No! I will say it again. I am eighty!"
"Oh."

"This is my friend Rudolph." Chief Bob said, introducing the Antelope type animal. "He's from Norway!"
"I'm from Norway! Is he the famous one?"
"Does he have a red nose?" Chief Bob studied his fingernails. "Does he?"
"Well no, but he does have red eyes."
"That is because he has lost his sight. He is Rudolph's brother, Rudolph."
"Why is he blind?"
"No eye deer."

"Hello!" Boomed Rudolph. "How are you today?"
"Wow, he speaks!"
"Of course." Chief Bob declared. "I taught him!"
"Hello, so how did you become blind."
"I was already blind in one eye and then one day I saw this Humming Bird getting bigger and bigger."
"Really?"
"Yes, I could not work out why. It was getting bigger and bigger and bigger. I was bamboozled!"
"So?"
"Well, I could not figure why and then it hit me."
"Oh."

Great Aunt Celia spent the night in the village, nice and toasty warm and then was taken back to her canoe. For finding Chief Bob, they presented her with a large tin of Yacht Varnish for her canoe, and allowed her to varnish her canoe in boat corner. Henr came to visit her.

"Hi Miss Celia!"
"Hello Henr!" Celia wiped her brow. "It is very hot today!"
"It is always 90 degrees in Boat Corner."
"Oh, I see!"
"Miss Celia!"
"What?"
"No wonder you are so hot Miss Celia, you have two heavy jackets on and it is very hot!"
"I have to."
"Why?"
"I read the instructions on the tin of varnish. It says put at least two coats on."
"I see."

So the newly varnished canoe was put in the river and Celia of Arabia continued her adventures!
Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Tue Dec 19, 2017 3:29 pm

Well, I picked up my Great Aunt's box of almost an infinite number of journals and photographs and read on.....

After the Great Canoe Varnishing, the canoe appeared to attract creatures to the strange smell from far and wide. She tells of the Dolphin that followed her as she drove it along the mighty River Plate. She said the Dolphin appeared to be following without much porpoise.

"Hello back there!" Great Aunt Celia called. "Whatyadoing?"
"Hi!" Said the amazing talking fish type thing.
"Oh, you are the most beautiful looking Dolphin I have ever seen!"
"Manatee!"
"Yes please, but one every day? No woman can do that, you know."
"No, I am a Manatee. My name is Humbert."
"Oh." Celia of Arabia replied, when a trumpet seemed to sound from the riverbank. "Ooh what was that noise Humbert?
"That is my friend, Grahamella, she is an Elephant, silly, don't you know an Elephant when you hear one?"
"In South America?"
"That's irrelephant, she is lost."
"I see. Oh Humbert, can you introduce me? I love Elephants!"
"Ok."

So she drove the canoe to the riverbank and parked it near where the trumpet sounded. Humbert called for his friend to come over and soon Grahamella was there, teetering on the side of the bank under some Coconut trees.

"Frickin' Elephant!" Great Aunt Celia said, in awe.
"Correct, an African Elephant." Humbert said. "You are so wise."

"Screeeeeeeech!" Grahamella suddenly called and reared up on her back legs. "Turtle!!!"

Kerplunk! The Turtle was startled and kerplunked into the river.
"Why are you so scared?" Great Aunt Celia enquired, then she tittered. "You, a big great lump of an animal, scared by a weeny liccle turtle like that and all."
""When I was six weeks old that very same Turtle bit my nose in the the mighty Zambesi river!"
"Wow!" Great Aunt Celia replied. "What a great memory you have Grahamella."
"It's nothing." Grahamella rubbed her fingernails upon her chest and studied them. "I have Turtle recall."
"Oh."

"So how are you these days, Grahamella?" Humbert asked. "Still playing hide and seek with that Ant, what was his name?"
"Oh that ruddy Ant." Graham replied. "Quenton. Well I got him last time."
"How was that then?"
"Well, he tried to hide in a Japanese Monkey's house, but I spied his shoes on the doormat and I found him!"
"Oh, well done Grahamella!"

Just then as Great Aunt Celia and Humbert the Manatee watched helplessly, a net fell upon Grahamella. They were unable to help as slowly the net was pulled tight around her.
"Yoho heave-ho! Yoho heave-ho!" A tiny voice was heard to be singing as the terrible trap was set even tighter. "Got you, you gorgeous creature!"

Soon it was apparent. A Mouse was the perpetrator. He ran up Grahamella's rear leg, lifted her tail and started fucking her!

"You gorgeous animal, you!" The Mouse said. "I've been watching you from afar for months, so I hatched this plan. Take that baby, you know you love it!"

The Mouse gave it his all. Grahamella struggled with the tree tied net. A Coconut fell from the tree above.

"Ouch!" Grahamella screamed. Then several more Coconut fell. "Ouch, ouch, ouch!"
"Oh, I am sorry darling." The Mouse said. "Am I hurting you?"

Well, Great Aunt Celia scrambled ashore and scared the Mouse away. She cut Grahamella free, said her goodbyes and continued her amazing adventures.
Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
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Re: Fun thread

Postby CeliaEriksson » Mon Dec 25, 2017 12:54 pm

Glad Jul!

Seasonal Greetings Everyone! It's my Bumper Festive Feast. I'll just start rambling on shall I?

So I quickly flipped through my Great Aunt Celia's almost infinite number of journals and looked at the Chrissymassy type ones.

It was one whilst she was driving her canoe up the River Plate that I found first. It was Xmas 1894 and she was traversing some rapids, she told herself: Oh well, Christmas here's not so bad without the Reverand Eriksen keep bringing religion into Christmas at Sørbotn every year! I mean, who wants to pray when there's lots of lovely prezzies to open!

She then beheld a vision. Above across the heavens a sleigh! It was clearly not Santa though, it was a large lady dressed like Santa, but in gold. She had a team of Bobcats pulling her sleigh, she was lit up in a yellowy aura and the sleigh alighted close by in the trees. Great Aunt Celia parked the canoe and made her way there.

She saw two sleighs! The one with Reindeer too! Santa was there conversing with the lady.

"Hi!" Great Aunt Celia decided to be subtle. "I hope you've sent me lots of big prezzies! Whoo hoo! It's me!"
"Why Celia!" Santa replied. "Come here my girl, it must be some years since you were upon my knee!"
"What!" The gold lady exclaimed.
"Oh, this is my wife." Santa chuckled. "Don't fret Ingeborg, I refer to the time in Tesco's when Celia was but ten!"
"You'd better be." Ingeborg Claus replied. "My coming all this way, just to bring some Cobnuts for your deer! My Bobcat are famished!"
"Yes Ingeborg, yes. Ahem. Now Celia do you remember?"
"Of course. I asked you for some nails for my Kitten, Miss Jinks!"
"Yes, you said that only her outer nails were there, retracted in or out. She was missing her middle nails."
"I did."
"And I told you not to worry they would be there for Christmas Day."
"You did, oh you did!"
"Well, err, did they?" Santa stroked his beard. "Did they appear?"
"Yes, they did. As you said, centre claws comes on Christmas Day!"
"What!" Ingeborg Claus screamed.

"So come here young lady." Santa sat down. "Come sit on my knee and tell me want you want for Christmas whilst my Rein feed."
"Oh no you don't!" His fierce wife stated. "Oh nonono!"
"Stand before me then young Celia."
"Well." Great Aunt Celia started. "I'd like something for my Mother."
"How unselfish of you! That's so wonderful to hear, what shall I get her?"
"A six-foot four, handsome Son-in-Law."
"Oh, you've not changed much after all."
"And for me, I'd like that blue sparkly cocktail dress in Harrods, a Faberge barcelet the one with 45 diamonds and....."

48 minutes later.....

"Is that all?" Santa sighed.
"Oh, I want to make a Solskinnskringle pastry after my Grandmother Celia's secret recipe, but the recipe went to her grave. It is said she typed it out on a piece of notepaper though, so it must be somewhere."
"That's right." Santa pondered. "It was written upon her outdoor typewriter, in a snowstorm."
"Yes, she died of Typothermia."
"Go talk to Blitzen, she is my expert upon Norway." Santa pointed. "Over there under that Palm Tree."

"Hello Miss Celia" Blitzen mooed. "Imagine seeing you here. I guess your going to ask about the recipe."
"Yes."
"Yule be sorry!"
"Oh."
"Not really, I just had to say that. Never mind. Your Great Uncle Edgar, her son, pasted it in his scrapbook. It still exists I think."
"But he moved to the USA!"
"Mmmm. Ok well what is Emily Dickinson's favourite Reindeer?"
"What?"
"Dasher!" Blitzen laughed uncontrollably. "The USA is one of Dasher's knowledge places. Go talk to her."

"Hi Dasher!"
"I'm eating!"
"Oh but Dasher, I need to know about my Great Uncle Edgar's scrapbook!"
"Edgar the Christmas parcel man? Did Christmas parcel's up for posting and he also sang in bars?"
"That's him."
"The Wrapper Rapper."
"What?"
"He pasted the recipe on the back of a painting. The painting now belongs to Wencelas, a man in Hungary, in Budapest. See Rudolph, she's the one over there with the bulbous nose."
"I know."
"She has Hungary on her expertise list. She was Elf-taught."
"Groan!"

"Hello Rudolph! Do you mind if I put my sunglasses on?"
"Waaah!"
"Sorry, did not want to make you cry. Wow, it's like Rein!"
"Everyone does that, I can't look into your beautiful, green, sensual, lovely, cute eyes!"
"Ok, they're off!"
"You want to know about Wencelas the pizza lover."
"Pizza lover?"
"Yes, he likes them, deep and crisp and unleaven."
"Oh."
"He took the painting out and sold the frame, back and all, to the Captian of the Good Ship Kangaroo."
"I've been on that."
"I know. Go see Comet, she is the sea expert. That's her there collecting all the Cobnuts in her cheeks. Crafty cow!"

"Hi Comet!"
"Hah....." Cobnuts pinged all over Great Aunt Celia! ".....llllo"
"Oh."
"Darn, I've lost me nuts!" Comet screamed. "What do you want! I suppose it's about that little tramp-steamer Kangaroo!"
"Yes."
"Well the Captain used it as a blackboard. The recipe is still on the back, he died one Christmas Eve after walking into a bar."
"Was it a rough bar?"
"No quite smooth, cast iron."
"Oh."
"It was sent to his daughter, Marissa Compini in Italy. Go see Cupid, she is the Italy girl. She's over there brushing herself against the tree."

"Hi Cupid!"
"Stupid!"
"What?"
"This tree, not good enough to scratch upon. Oh you want to know about the blackboard?"
"Yes."
"Well, she put an old cartoon into it's frame. It was hanging in her house, when she called the police." Cupid sighed. "Whilst we were there."
"Really!"
"Yes, Christmas Eve it was. She phoned them and said there is a man on her roof emptying his sack into the chimney. The vice squad came!"
"Oh."
"Then when they cuffed Santa, he said 'But I only come once a year!', they took him down. We had to finish the night with Ingeborg and those pesky Bobcat!"
"What about the recipe?"
"She had bought a cartoon print and put it in the frame instead. She gave it to her Aunt Anneka, a Swede, for Christmas."
"Oh."
"Go talk to Donner, she knows about Sweden. There she is, having a bath."

"Hello Donner! Glad Jul!"
"Glad Jul!" Donner replied. "Would you like to join me? The mud is warm!"
"Err. No thanks, all the same. Well, I guess you know what I want to know!"
"Mmmm. You should get in the bath first." Donner rose up and squidged her big tum into the mudbath. Schplurb! Bluuuuuurp! The mudbath sang. "It's so relaxing."
"Just had one." Great Aunt Celia replied. "What about this Anneka person?"
"The late Anneka Lund." Donner sighed. "Such a shame."
"What happened?"
"She went to the hairdressers and her stylist kept asking her to remove her headphones. In the end the stylist took them off. Anneka died in moments, sadly."
"Oh no."
"Yes, then they heard the headphone tape."
"Oh?"
"It was saying, 'breathe out...., breathe in....., breathe out....., breathe in....."
"Oh dear."
"Well it was bequeathed to her Sister, Wilma. You best see Prancer about it. She does Northern Sweden. That's her jumping around over there."

"Hi Prancer!"
"Why, as I live and breathe, it's young Celia Eriksson!"
"Hello Prancer, you prance wonderfully."
"And you look so pretty!"
"Thank you. I want to ask about Wilma, the Swedish lady?"
"Ah. The late Wilma Lund."
"Not again!"
"Yes, so sad just after Anneka's demise too."
"What happened?"
"She went on a picnic with her Swedish friend Helga and her Norwegian friend Celia."
"Oh, great name!"
"Yes. Anyway, after the picnic they got lost and they realised they needed to cross a river to get to the car park."
"My, what happened then?"
"You have to see Vixen, she was on duty at that moment. I had lots of prancing to do. She's over there, next to Santa."

"Hi Vixen!"
"Hi Celia, I guess you want to know what happened when the girls had to cross the river?"
"Yes please!"
"Well, Helga said she was a strong swimmer, kerplunk! into the water she went and was washed away by the river, never to be seen again!"
"So sad."
"Yes, then Wilma said she was an even stronger swimmer and Kerplunk! into the water. Only to ber swept away and never seen again!"
"That's terrible. What happened to Celia?"
"She took the footbridge." Vixen crossed her chest and looked up to heaven. "The estate of Wilma was valued by experts."
"Wow."
"The cartoon was from a London funny magazine and was sold for 900,000 pounds!"
"Never!"
"Yes, it hangs to this day in their offices. In the foyer."
"The recipe still on the back?"
"Oh yes! You need to telephone them!"
"What's the number?"
"Ask Dancer, she is our Media and Entertainment expert. She is over there doing some pirouhettes, go ask her for the phone number."

"Hello Dancer!"
"Sorry, there is no Punch line!"
:oops:

Image

Glad Jul, God Jul!

Beautiful, we are best in the world at this song.... Stille Natt, a southern choir... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h8SYYGFTp4

....and a young women's choir....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VAy92Fw8vc
Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
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Re: Fun thread

Postby Lesley Niyori » Tue Jan 16, 2018 11:10 am

As this is about 'fun' I thought, ok, seems like a 'fun' thread post.

Ok, we being transgender have to deal with people asking us, "how do you know, you are transgender?" a lot, and this post isn't really about that. But it's related.

How does Lesley know she's actually a 5-year-old person in that body of hers?

I look for signs, indicators, all the stuff you normally do for the same question when applied to being transgender.

For instance, when you look at a box of crayons, how does it affect you?
For me, it is an irresistible urge to colour. I got a nice big box of 96 Crayolas for Christmas.
I'm going to go for a walk and do some colouring in one of my Mandalas colouring books at a Tim Horton's and people watch.
I know I'm 5 because only a kid can casually sit in a coffee shop and colour or play with Legos and not think it is awkward. What? I'm a child, what's wrong with colouring with crayons and playing with Legos in public?

If I was sitting at home, I might be colouring while my teddy bears and Barbies and china dolls sat at the table with me and watched. And I talk to them. And I don't think I'm nuts.

This isn't an isolated thing for me, this is my daily routine. I live the life of a princess, whether I like it or not. It's just my life. I read in my comfy lazy boy chair and my bear sits beside me while I read. We sit together and watch TV too.

I take my teddy bear with me everywhere. Yesterday we went out for a picnic lunch. He sat with me while I had a nice lunch up in the cafe sitting area of the local Loblaws store. Today he's going with me to colour at Tim's. Frank, also goes with me to church. And yes, Frank goes with me on my dates (to make sure I'm safe eh).

I suppose I sound very articulate and smart sometimes when I post here. It's like how when a person can smile, but, they are not really smiling on the inside. I can sound smart, and clever and witty. I don't have all that much wisdom and experience behind it though. It doesn't take a lot of effort to discover how much of a child I really am. All that science and history in my head, but, I don't have much life knowledge.

So yeah, princess Lesley is going to go for a walk, and enjoy the snow, because, it's not like she has to shovel it, and I don't have to drive in it. It's just snow, and it's fun to walk in it. I can play in it, but, I don't have to work in it.
If you are verbally mean to me, I will verbally bite you back.
If you attempt to chastise me for verbally biting someone who was verbally mean to me, I'll verbally bite you too. Don't be quoting me rules either.
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