An Interesting Dream

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An Interesting Dream

Postby jennanightshade » Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:02 pm

So, a couple of nights ago, I had a strangely realistic dream. Me and my mother were shopping for clothes, probably Sunday attire, and, as we were going through the store, I saw this really pretty dress I wanted and pointed it out. My mother thought that I wanted a more masculine suit and proceeded to start buying it for me. I wanted to tell her no, but I was too scared. Talking about it later, I was told that this means I feel that I'm not allowed by my parents to be who I am (I told my mother a modified version of the dream), and I have been debating, now that this dream has happened, if I should tell her how the dream really went. In essence, I am wondering: Should I come out as transgender to my parents?
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Re: An Interesting Dream

Postby Medli » Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:44 pm

I don't know your circumstances so you would certainly know better, but generally, the sooner you say something the faster things will move.
If you see this while scrolling, you have been visited by the Rebecca of good opinions. Logic and good taste will come to you, but only if you reply "Thanks Rebecca" to this post.
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Re: An Interesting Dream

Postby jennanightshade » Sat Mar 17, 2018 11:59 pm

My situation is...shall we say...unique.

I actually came out to my parents as soon as I knew I was transgender, which was about 5 years ago. I was 15 at the time and my parents thought that it was a defense mechanism because I told them at a time when I was suffering through a great deal of depression (so, high school basically). They also argued that because I had done more masculine things as a child (as far as they were concerned. Honestly, most of the feminine things I did were not in their presence, because I was scared of how they would react. I'm sensitive that way.) Eventually, they told me theybwanted to take me to a therapist, and I agreed. However, I thought that they were taking me to a therapist to evaluate my gender identity. Nope! They took me to a behavioral therapist because they were convinced that it was all hormones and autism (because I happened to be diagnosed through this whole process).

So, I had to force myself, every day, to say that I made a mistake and that I was 'happy' being a 'man', just because I wasn't willing to fight while so many things were happening. So, it stopped, for awhile, and life, to them, was back to normal, with me pretending to be cis.

However, I was encountering depression based on the fact that I felt that I should have a female significant other in my life, which became stronger when I repressed my transgender feelings. My parents tried to reason with me, and I kept feeling that those feelings weren't real and I was just tricking myself, but I kept pushing. Then, about a month or two ago, something clicked. I had been doing my research and everything checked out that I was transgender. I felt so happy, and I started to plan for my transition again. When this happened, I no longer had the desire to find a significant other. It didn't even matter. It vanished with a snap of the fingers.

Since then, a friend of mine has also come out to me as MtF transgender, and I have come out to all of my friends, who have accepted me with open arms. However, I want to tell my immediate family, who I am living with right now. My issue is that my parents will see it as a "Here we go again" sort of situation, and I have no idea how or even if I should reason with them.

So, yeah. It's really complicated.
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Re: An Interesting Dream

Postby marie » Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:29 am

The difference between then and now is that back then you were a child and they reacted as parents of a child. You're not a child now. You are an adult and they can't get in your way anymore. You can tell them what you say here. You were trans all along and gave up trying to fight them.
I suspect they they won't be that surprised. Rather than here we go again. They might say We were dreading this day, hoping the'problem' had gone away.
Well as we all know it never goes away. Whether they accept that reality or not. You can't let get in your way anymore.
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