Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking advice

General Transgender Support

Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking advice

Postby SpeedMetal » Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:15 am

Hi everyone, I really don't know a good way of introducing myself without making it sound too pretentious but I just wanted to make a basic introduction so I can have some discussion on some burning questions I've had for years.

To begin I guess ever since around puberty I found myself wishing I was a girl. However my sexual orientation has always been straight (I am only am attracted to women). I guess that would make me a LIM(lesbian identified male) and I heard LIMs seem less likely to transition. I have my own reasons why but I want to here your theories.

Unfortunately I'm in no position to ever transition so I'm very awful about that. I don't feel my wife could ever live with me if I did. There are other reasons too of course but maybe I can say later.
I'm wondering if anyone has any tips on coping with never being able to transition.

To be honest I'm even nervous typing this out because I'm afraid I sound silly. Keep in mind I have never held a conversation with anybody in the trans community

I have long hair because of several reasons but ironically it isn't because I want to be a girl, but since I will be moving from China to Japan in a year and a half I am terrified by how strict I heard Japanese businesses are and what I'm afraid of, I don't know if anybody could understand but, if I got my hair forcibly cut so I could get a job there I would feel less like a man and even further from being a woman. I really hope businesses had evolved to the point where they care about the cleanliness of hair over the length. But yeah as much as I want to be a woman I don't want to feel like anything that symbolizes my masculinity is taken from me, anyone else feel the same?

I don't know if there is any true place of solace where I can feel like a woman and I'm losing hope on it. I don't trust "the future of technology" because we some how let that in the hands of corporations who never attempt to make genuine advancements for peoples happiness. And I think the saddest thing is I can't even be a woman in my dreams, the expression in my dreams doesn't even apply to me I wish I could lucid dream so I could smack my dumb brain in it's figurative face and tell it to dream me as a girl at the very least.

On a related note I was wondering is there anyway to "accidentally" feminize myself? I mean to say any certain estrogen high foods I could eat that would make any noticible difference. I wouldn't mind if my default behaviour became more girly I'd rather pretend masculinity then pretend femininity yet desire it. I just want to try out feminising myself without purchasing hormones or doing anything too obvious.

I also worry I only wish to be a woman out of some fetish, but I honestly don't know how to tell re difference between knowing if I like the concept of becoming a woman over being an actual woman.

One thing I feel very strong about but I know sounds absolutely ridiculous is that I don't feel that I am the correct race as well, but I'm fully aware of how unscientific that sounds but I feel very strong about it personally.

Opinions and discussion is welcome, be gentle though I really don't know what type of reaction to expect
Edit: sorry I don't know how to properly quote on this website yet I think it has something to do with BBCode which says it's on in settings but it isn't in the forums.
Last edited by SpeedMetal on Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:39 pm, edited 7 times in total.
SpeedMetal
New
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Introduction of myself

Postby CuteButLooksPregnant » Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:36 am

SpeedMetal wrote:Hi everyone, so I can have some discussion on some burning questions I've had for years.
I guess that would make me a LIM and I heard LIMs seem less likely to transition. I have my own reasons why but I want to he[a]r your theories.


LIM ???

SpeedMetal wrote: Keep in mind I have never held a conversation with anybody in the teams community


teams community ???

SpeedMetal wrote:One thing I feel very strong about but I know sounds absolutely ridiculous is that I don't feel that I am the correct race as well, but I'm fully aware of how unscientific that sounds but I feel very strong about it personally.


???

. . . . Nevertheless, how can we help ? ( italics mine )
I'm Ponytails, a Twin Tail SpunGold

"Put all of our dreams and wishes into these Twin Tails;
Just like how we live by our streaming hair;
With Red Courage;
And Blue Love;
And Yellow Hope; to draw strength from...."

" TAILS ON !"
User avatar
CuteButLooksPregnant
Member
 
Posts: 3155
Joined: Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:23 pm
Location: Cedar Point, Ohio, USA

Re: Introduction of myself

Postby Lucy-chan » Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:51 pm

SpeedMetal wrote:Hi everyone, I really don't know a good way of introducing myself without making it sound too pretentious but I just wanted to make a basic introduction so I can have some discussion on some burning questions I've had for years.
To begin I guess ever since around puberty I found myself wishing I was a girl. However my sexual orientation has always been straight (I am only am attracted to women). I guess that would make me a LIM and I heard LIMs seem less likely to transition. I have my own reasons why but I want to here your theories.

Unfortunately I'm in no position to ever transition so I'm very sad about that. I don't feel my wife could ever live with me if I did. There are other reasons too of course but maybe I can say later.

To be honest I'm even nervous typing this out because I'm afraid I sound silly. Keep in mind I have never held a conversation with anybody in the teams community

One thing I feel very strong about but I know sounds absolutely ridiculous is that I don't feel that I am the correct race as well, but I'm fully aware of how unscientific that sounds but I feel very strong about it personally.

Opinions and discussion is welcome, be gentle though I really don't know what type of reaction to expect



The race thing I've heard accounts of before, One hit the British news a few years back. I'm skeptical about the idea of being the wrong race. I cant get my head around it, but i understand that's how others see being trans..... So, im open minded..
If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
Lucy-chan
Member
 
Posts: 581
Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2015 5:47 pm
Location: Hull, uk

Re: Introduction of myself

Postby SpeedMetal » Fri Dec 08, 2017 2:42 am

[quote="CuteButLooksPregnant"]

LIM ???



teams community ???



???

. . . . Nevertheless, how can we help ? ( italics mine )[/quote]

Sorry I made some mistakes typing I was a little nervous and I need to use a VPN to access the site so I typed it out faster I added some addition things to make it more detailed I guess. I thought LIM was a common term. LIM means lesbian identified male, born a dude and exclusively attracted to women yet wish they were also a woman them self. It seems there is an assumption that trans women are always attracted to men.
Anyway I just wanted some advice and opinions about the things I said in my OP this is my first time opening up about myself like this and I'm still feeling shy about it.
Why did you italicise some of the words though lol
Last edited by SpeedMetal on Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
SpeedMetal
New
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Introduction of myself

Postby SpeedMetal » Fri Dec 08, 2017 7:01 am

[quote="Lucy-chan"]


The race thing I've heard accounts of before, One hit the British news a few years back. I'm skeptical about the idea of being the wrong race. I cant get my head around it, but i understand that's how others see being trans..... So, im open minded..[/quote]

I typed a long response but my vpn lost connection so I'll give a quick recap of what I said instead

I feel identifying with another race must be more of a spiritual thing as I found out despite my parents own diverse ethnic background I ended up 100% European on a DNA test so I can't pretend it's something in my dna I guess. But with believing oneself to be a different gender I believe it is not a mental disorder but instead an unfortunate physical disorder probably during sometime in the womb we were starting out in one way of the gender spectrum but something happened to cause it to change during the process to our misfortune.
But the race thing I do feel serious about I wouldn't necessarily feel I'm in the correct body unless I also was that specific ethnicity. It could just be attributed to fetishes but this is just me speculating.
But yeah every time I hear someone else say the same thing about themselves being born the wrong ethnicity I always first assume they are making it up to sound special then I think what a huge hypocrite I am for thinking that...though it wouldn't surprise me if there were people making it up for whatever reason.
SpeedMetal
New
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby SpeedMetal » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:51 pm

I made my original post more detailed changed the title of the thread to be more accurate and edited my responses to be more readable since I'm not used to how quoting works on this website. Just posting this as a separate post to avoid confusion.
SpeedMetal
New
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby marie » Fri Dec 08, 2017 6:53 pm

Ok, can't make any sense of the race thing being born white male albeit with the terrible advantage of being Catholic and the so called advantage and all the terrible guilt that supposedly ensues. Except that most of us could give a dam.

Anyway you are trans. What's are LIMS? Never heard of it.

For the most part most of what you say is trans. Forget all the BS,
To begin I guess ever since around puberty I found myself wishing I was a girl. However my sexual orientation has always been straight (I am only am attracted to women). I guess that would make me a LIM(lesbian identified male) and I heard LIMs seem less likely to transition. I have my own reasons why but I want to here your theories.
No idea what a LIM is supposed to be and I've been around for a while. I wanted to be a girl from puberty. Didn't believe it. Made up my own mind. It's rubbish.

Unfortunately I'm in no position to ever transition so I'm very awful about that. I don't feel my wife could ever live with me if I did. There are other reasons too of course but maybe I can say later.
I'm wondering if anyone has any tips on coping with never being able to transition.
Yay that's my excuse too. I can't transition. It's impossible. I could never be myself. Game over. Let's not discuss the issue. . So my advice is to suppress your real self. Completely. That's what I'm doing now. I pretend to be a man and in any interaction with other women is to pretend to be a man. So I try to copy what men do. Usually it's not that difficult because women assume you are a man for all the obvious reasons.

No you can't 'effeminise' yourself. Seriously? You are either feminine or you are not. It's not a fetish. Fetish's are fun. Men like to be fetshisitic. It's is something you are it's something you like.


You are what you are.

No idea about Japanesse culture but that's a whole different culture.

I just pretend to be man.

It's easy as men a simple creatures.

You can fool them measily As for women, they want you to be a man so they overlook any evidence to the contrary> So I'm a man just like my delusional women friends.
marie
Member
 
Posts: 345
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:48 am

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby SpeedMetal » Sat Dec 09, 2017 6:47 am

Thanks for the long detailed reply, Marie. Though it was kind of bleak advice lol.
I'm catholic too but I don't feel guilty thinking the way I do.
About the "feminization part" I doubt mannerism are picked up through whatever hormone is mostly coursing through your body of course but essentially testosterone and estrogen still do influence your body at the very least I still think it may also have some psychological effects as well. But we would need to ask someone here who is on estrogen or something.
I don't think you should give up though, at the very least you may be able to outlive all of your relatives and then can be more free...but even when I think like that I would regret waiting so long because I want to be beautiful too haha
SpeedMetal
New
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby Amy Farrah Fowler » Sat Dec 09, 2017 11:35 pm

LIM is a rare term first made popular by The L Word. I've seen transfeminine used more.

Most trans women are bisexual, and a large number are lesbian. Medical gatekeepers only used to allow heterosexuals to transition, and expected them to prove it by getting divorced first if they were married.
User avatar
Amy Farrah Fowler
Member
 
Posts: 4677
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:26 pm
Location: Cygnet XIV

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby Bea » Sun Dec 10, 2017 1:58 am

There is no reasonable advice for living in the closet. It's spiritually pernicious and will keep one back from their potential as a person.

You will hit a breaking point someday, and you'll regret the added years of testosterone poisoning.
User avatar
Bea
Member
 
Posts: 1047
Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2013 12:15 pm

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby SpeedMetal » Sun Dec 10, 2017 8:52 am

Amy Farrah Fowler wrote:LIM is a rare term first made popular by The L Word. I've seen transfeminine used more.

Most trans women are bisexual, and a large number are lesbian. Medical gatekeepers only used to allow heterosexuals to transition, and expected them to prove it by getting divorced first if they were married.


That's more stuff I wasn't aware of...I did know that term appeared from the L word first but I never knew the term "transfeminine".
The third fact I'm a little confused by, do you mean they had to prove that they were attracted to the opposite gender they were transitioning from?
SpeedMetal
New
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby SpeedMetal » Sun Dec 10, 2017 8:55 am

Bea wrote:There is no reasonable advice for living in the closet. It's spiritually pernicious and will keep one back from their potential as a person.

You will hit a breaking point someday, and you'll regret the added years of testosterone poisoning.


Well, I do indeed at the very least want to stop myself from becoming any more masculine. Are there any foods reccomended to keep my testosterone low? I think that's the best I could do in my situation. Also a bit selfish on my end but I think it may benefit my wife too, sometimes she get's a little overaggressive and I wonder if that's testosterone related.
SpeedMetal
New
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby Bea » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:52 am

There are foods which may have some miniscule endocrine impact, but you couldn't possibly consume them in quantities that would actually do anything.
User avatar
Bea
Member
 
Posts: 1047
Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2013 12:15 pm

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby SpeedMetal » Sun Dec 10, 2017 11:03 am

Bea wrote:There are foods which may have some miniscule endocrine impact, but you couldn't possibly consume them in quantities that would actually do anything.


bummer
SpeedMetal
New
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby CuteButLooksPregnant » Sun Dec 10, 2017 3:07 pm

Bea wrote:There are foods which may have some min[u]scule endocrine impact, but you couldn't possibly consume them in quantities that would actually do anything.


The same goes for herbal supplements and concoctions. You would have to consume a railroad boxcar full of them in a very short period of time to see any meager and discernible results. That is why most T-girls who want to include HRT as part of their transition, go with and take hardcore HRT Rx from a medical professional. I tried herbal, but switched to Informed Consent Rx HTR for the reasons stated above.
I'm Ponytails, a Twin Tail SpunGold

"Put all of our dreams and wishes into these Twin Tails;
Just like how we live by our streaming hair;
With Red Courage;
And Blue Love;
And Yellow Hope; to draw strength from...."

" TAILS ON !"
User avatar
CuteButLooksPregnant
Member
 
Posts: 3155
Joined: Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:23 pm
Location: Cedar Point, Ohio, USA

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby CeliaEriksson » Sun Dec 10, 2017 5:50 pm

Agree, herbs can be extremely dangerous, particularly Black Cohosh or whatever it is called. HRT is the only option.

A good balanced and healthy diet is more important to ready yourself for HRT, with no refined sugar... that means no sweets, chocs or any sugar man-made. Fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, legumes and if you eat meat Chicken. Steam most food to keep the goodness in! Keep yourself healthy with regular exercise, there are plenty of breast, tum and bum exercises to trim your figure whilst you wait for, as Sweet Ponytails describes, 'informed consent HRT'.
Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
Mary Tyler Moore.
User avatar
CeliaEriksson
Member
 
Posts: 562
Joined: Mon May 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby SpeedMetal » Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:16 pm

CuteButLooksPregnant wrote:
Bea wrote:There are foods which may have some min[u]scule endocrine impact, but you couldn't possibly consume them in quantities that would actually do anything.


The same goes for herbal supplements and concoctions. You would have to consume a railroad boxcar full of them in a very short period of time to see any meager and discernible results. That is why most T-girls who want to include HRT as part of their transition, go with and take hardcore HRT Rx from a medical professional. I tried herbal, but switched to Informed Consent Rx HTR for the reasons stated above.


I see, thanks for the advice both of you...I take it there is any casual way going about getting HRT though.
I heard this one myth that I'm sure is false, it would probably be beyond stupid to try this but I remembered hearing that if a man touches birth control pills it would have some hormonal effect on him.
Edit: apparently it was about some man who worked in a factory that produced pills, nothing would happen if you didn't touch them on the daily basis and that it would lead to prostate problems if one even considered ingesting them...and again why would you? They clearly aren't meant for a man's physiology.

Although I am all worried about my own situation currently I'm more worried about my wife these days, she's had a breast pain for over a year and refused to go to a clinic to check it out, she said she will go soon but I want her to go sooner, it's probably nothing serious but worrying about it all year has been very stressful, I really hope all is ok and that whatever it is is something that can go away. It breaks my heart seeing her in any discomfort.
SpeedMetal
New
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby Amy Farrah Fowler » Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:27 am

SpeedMetal wrote:
Amy Farrah Fowler wrote:LIM is a rare term first made popular by The L Word. I've seen transfeminine used more.

Most trans women are bisexual, and a large number are lesbian. Medical gatekeepers only used to allow heterosexuals to transition, and expected them to prove it by getting divorced first if they were married.


That's more stuff I wasn't aware of...I did know that term appeared from the L word first but I never knew the term "transfeminine".
The third fact I'm a little confused by, do you mean they had to prove that they were attracted to the opposite gender they were transitioning from?


A trans woman could not be bi or lesbian. She had to prove she was attracted only to men.

A trans man could not be bi or gay. He had to prove he was attracted only to women.
User avatar
Amy Farrah Fowler
Member
 
Posts: 4677
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:26 pm
Location: Cygnet XIV

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby SpeedMetal » Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:42 am

Amy Farrah Fowler wrote:
SpeedMetal wrote:
Amy Farrah Fowler wrote:LIM is a rare term first made popular by The L Word. I've seen transfeminine used more.

Most trans women are bisexual, and a large number are lesbian. Medical gatekeepers only used to allow heterosexuals to transition, and expected them to prove it by getting divorced first if they were married.


That's more stuff I wasn't aware of...I did know that term appeared from the L word first but I never knew the term "transfeminine".
The third fact I'm a little confused by, do you mean they had to prove that they were attracted to the opposite gender they were transitioning from?


A trans woman could not be bi or lesbian. She had to prove she was attracted only to men.

A trans man could not be bi or gay. He had to prove he was attracted only to women.


dang, I can assume that because they did this before like this, it probably attributed so much more to that stereotype about gender and sexual orientation.
SpeedMetal
New
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Lesbian Identified Male(unable to transition) seeking ad

Postby Amy Farrah Fowler » Mon Dec 11, 2017 4:15 pm

SpeedMetal wrote:
Amy Farrah Fowler wrote:A trans woman could not be bi or lesbian. She had to prove she was attracted only to men.

A trans man could not be bi or gay. He had to prove he was attracted only to women.


dang, I can assume that because they did this before like this, it probably attributed so much more to that stereotype about gender and sexual orientation.


That's what the straight white men in charge of who got to transition were doing. Bi & gay trans women had to lie to get treatment; if they were honest, they were informed they were just "garden-variety transvestites," and as such, being straight men, not transsexuals, didn't qualify for transition. Trans men were barely a blip on the radar, but I assume gay trans men were told something along the lines of, "You're just a butch lesbian." Or, by a Freudian perhaps, "You're just a butch lesbian who never grew out of your penis envy." And, regardless of how you loved each other or were attracted to each other, no surgeon would touch you without a final decree of divorce issued by a court in hand as proof you qualified for SRS.
User avatar
Amy Farrah Fowler
Member
 
Posts: 4677
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:26 pm
Location: Cygnet XIV


Return to Transgender Discussion

coiae

Consonance of Identity and Expression


© 2000 - 2016 The Ultimate Paradigm