giving up on being trans.

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giving up on being trans.

Postby Demon » Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:43 am

the world hates us, why bother.

now is not my time.

why shave everyday just to get bullied.

i have been rejected by other trans women. why even bother even more even transwomen dont accept each other.

my whole life is spent 90% stewing in hatred and contempt, wishing people to get what they deserve. so tell me what is the point of trying to look beautiful when you dont have a happy life anyway?

i got to work and be miserable. what does it matter if i am man or woman if i am miserable either way.

what does it matter if i am truthful about my identity if i am not truthful to people about how much i hate them, i am living a lie anyway, its all fake corporate game anyway.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Lesley Niyori » Sun Jan 14, 2018 4:52 am

If you are transgender it was because you were born transgender. And you will die transgender.

It's not a choice. You don't get to give it up.

Kinda like being black.

Yeah, I have met transgender people online, that I'd gladly shove in front of a bus. It just means transgender people are ordinary people.

It doesn't mean I have to hate myself, just because the planet isn't 100% rainbows and unicorns.

But hey, if you are that desperate to hate yourself for it, that's your choice eh.

I think I'm fucking awesome, regardless of whether anyone agrees with me or not isn't required :)
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Natasha_Lynn » Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:24 am

Demon wrote:why even bother even more even transwomen dont accept each other.


Uhh some of my best friends are trans women? Clearly I am delusional! They must secretly hate me, especially that one that took me out for a nice lunch recently.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Demon » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:50 am

Lesley Niyori wrote:Yeah, I have met transgender people online, that I'd gladly shove in front of a bus. It just means transgender people are ordinary people.

Difference is, I met them in real life.

Natasha_Lynn wrote:Uhh some of my best friends are trans women? Clearly I am delusional! They must secretly hate me, especially that one that took me out for a nice lunch recently.

No I have a couple of real life trans friends, however some of the trans people Imet in real life are fake friends and psychopathic sadistic passive-aggressive assholes.

If you are transgender it was because you were born transgender. And you will die transgender.

It's not a choice. You don't get to give it up.

Kinda like being black.

It doesn't mean I have to hate myself, just because the planet isn't 100% rainbows and unicorns.

But hey, if you are that desperate to hate yourself for it, that's your choice eh.

I think I'm fucking awesome, regardless of whether anyone agrees with me or not isn't required :)

It's actually the complete opposite of being black. Being black you are born with a black physical body. But being trans you are born with a male body but want to be female.

I never said I hate myself, I said I hate other people. Being trans is a choice, I can choose to be miserable and alone because women dont really want me because even though I try to dress male, they can sense Im not a true confident male. Or I can be miserable an alone because I try to wear womens clothing and thats not what men are allowed to do so noone wants to date me.
I can choose to be trans, I can choose not go through the hassle of of transition so I can apply for a real job and get hired, mean whiling putting on a fake persona just to try to socially reduce the awkwardness, with a fake persona of being a nice/easygoing guy, all the while secretly hating my coworkers and holding them in contempt. Or I could spend thousands of dollars and still never really pass, and go to a job where my coworkers secretly hate me and hold me in contempt.
So I would basically throw away all my power over them.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby julie.chan » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:04 am

Talk to your therapist. The things you're saying are clearly unhealthy, but it's impossible to tell at a distance exactly what is wrong. I wouldn't discount the possibility that you are not and never were transgender, but your therapist probably knows better than I do. (You do have a therapist you see regularly, right?)

I can choose not go through the hassle of of transition so I can apply for a real job and get hired

I had a much easier time getting a job presenting as a woman. That's at least partly because I am a woman, and I'm not a good enough actor to put up a masculine facade, pretending to be comfortable in clothes that I hate, while doing a competent job interview at the same time.

Or I could spend thousands of dollars and still never really pass, and go to a job where my coworkers secretly hate me and hold me in contempt.

That doesn't happen. I don't know for sure how many people can tell at my current job, but at least some know, and when I used to work at Taco Bell, everyone did because that was where I started my transition. People like me better post-transition, for the most part. I'm much happier, more sociable, more friendly. And I still do a good job.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Demon » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:24 am

julie.chan wrote:Talk to your therapist. The things you're saying are clearly unhealthy, but it's impossible to tell at a distance exactly what is wrong. I wouldn't discount the possibility that you are not and never were transgender, but your therapist probably knows better than I do. (You do have a therapist you see regularly, right?)

My therapist isn't trans, so he wouldn't know if someone is trans or not.
See my thread called "Cisness and transness". As a child I never really had a clear-cut gender identity, I just wanted to escape my body and be anything but a human, which I hated because they are cruel and evil. So when transwomen told me that they knew they were trans at age 3, I lost my confidence because I cannot even remember anything before age4, other than my teddy bear. Being as how I have nothing in common with litterally anyone on this planet (except for this one transgirl, the only women I ever truly loved, who dumped me before even allowing me on a date with her or even to try to get to know me, after claiming I didn't even love her as well as giving me a bunch of nonsensical insults and accusations)m y life has been a rocky journey, it tin terms of my identity. The lag of my keyboard doesn't make this easy to type, and in public I frequently dissassociate when presenting as male, I feel like a spy in enemy terrotory, presenting as male to escape detection.However, when I present as female, I feel the same way, paranoid of being discovered since I dont pass much and 2/3 of the world hates our kind. So Ive never had the opportunity to really explore what being a woman is like under hospitible conditions, my only experience has been getting totally misgendered, cat called by randoms, rejected by women, and getting called cruel names by people driving by me. So I never had an "ahaha" moment of "this is so much better now that I am a woman."
But what I discovered is I'm defintely not cis. I know this because in the first time in my life I experienced what it feels like to be a normal, cis person. And thus I concluded that my entire life I could not have had the mind of a normal cis person. all i know is when im around most other males, im fake as fuck, i keep my thoughts to myself. but i am like this around many women as well, i know that if they figure out im a deviant they will view me as some kind of deviant and not give me the time of day.

I can choose not go through the hassle of of transition so I can apply for a real job and get hired

I had a much easier time getting a job presenting as a woman. That's at least partly because I am a woman, and I'm not a good enough actor to put up a masculine facade, pretending to be comfortable in clothes that I hate, while doing a competent job interview at the same time.

What city do you live in? Most transwomen I know have trouble in the workplace after they come out.

Or I could spend thousands of dollars and still never really pass, and go to a job where my coworkers secretly hate me and hold me in contempt.

That doesn't happen. I don't know for sure how many people can tell at my current job, but at least some know, and when I used to work at Taco Bell, everyone did because that was where I started my transition. People like me better post-transition, for the most part. I'm much happier, more sociable, more friendly. And I still do a good job.

When I was on estrogen, I tried to be nice to people, but I was so emotionally sensitive so if you said something to make me angry, hell hath no fury. After hitting someone with a frying pan for insulting me I would assume I would be at the very least fired or given a month suspension. IN short estrogen actually made me more violent and dangerous, for instance when I saw violence on TV i would cry and say its horrible, but if someone was bullying me I would view them as a prime evil that needed to be purged will all the might of my holy angelic glory.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby julie.chan » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:56 am

My therapist isn't trans, so he wouldn't know if someone is trans or not.

That doesn't follow. Do you just disregard everything your therapist says because he's not transgender? That's a bigoted, misguided direction to follow.

What city do you live in?

I don't live in a city. Or rather, what I would call a city. It's one of the suburban areas in southeast Michigan.

IN short estrogen actually made me more violent and dangerous, for instance when I saw violence on TV i would cry and say its horrible, but if someone was bullying me I would view them as a prime evil that needed to be purged will all the might of my holy angelic glory.

That's not healthy. I sure hope you're discussing this with your therapist.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Demon » Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:46 pm

julie.chan wrote:
My therapist isn't trans, so he wouldn't know if someone is trans or not.

That doesn't follow. Do you just disregard everything your therapist says because he's not transgender? That's a bigoted, misguided direction to follow.

Your statement is bigoted in the sense that it is a logical fallacy. I never said i disregard everything he says, why are you putting words into my mouth? I said he isn't trans so how would he be an expert on what its like to be trans.

What city do you live in?

I don't live in a city. Or rather, what I would call a city. It's one of the suburban areas in southeast Michigan.

Hmm so like a farm?

IN short estrogen actually made me more violent and dangerous, for instance when I saw violence on TV i would cry and say its horrible, but if someone was bullying me I would view them as a prime evil that needed to be purged will all the might of my holy angelic glory.

That's not healthy. I sure hope you're discussing this with your therapist.

I think calling something unhealthy is bigoted.

i dont see how the urge to beat up bullies is unhealthy.

i will tell you what is unhealthy. my whole life i sought out female therapists because it felt weird to have a male therapist. but when you are stuck in a room with a female for years, and you spill your heart out to her every week, eventually you fall in love. because i fell in love with my female therapist they banned me from having a female therapist. you may say that thats fucked up, but whats fucked up is being single your whole life and being rejected by the woman you love, just because you arent a white cis man with a lot of money.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Natasha_Lynn » Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:48 pm

Demon wrote:i will tell you what is unhealthy. my whole life i sought out female therapists because it felt weird to have a male therapist. but when you are stuck in a room with a female for years, and you spill your heart out to her every week, eventually you fall in love. because i fell in love with my female therapist they banned me from having a female therapist. you may say that thats fucked up, but whats fucked up is being single your whole life and being rejected by the woman you love, just because you arent a white cis man with a lot of money.


Are you for real? I swear I cannot tell if you are trolling or not.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Demon » Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:49 pm

Natasha_Lynn wrote:
Demon wrote:i will tell you what is unhealthy. my whole life i sought out female therapists because it felt weird to have a male therapist. but when you are stuck in a room with a female for years, and you spill your heart out to her every week, eventually you fall in love. because i fell in love with my female therapist they banned me from having a female therapist. you may say that thats fucked up, but whats fucked up is being single your whole life and being rejected by the woman you love, just because you arent a white cis man with a lot of money.


Are you for real? I swear I cannot tell if you are trolling or not.


its a true story. male therapists always made me feel weird. i was more comfortable with woman therapists, but when you are trapped in a room with somebody and you spill your heart out to them, you are liable to fall in love, even if they aren't that physically fit and are borderline obese (or, pretty much just obese.) But alas, an obese white woman has more social value than a poor, non-white male these days...
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby julie.chan » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:59 pm

I never said i disregard everything he says, why are you putting words into my mouth?

No, I was asking a question. It was a perfectly reasonable question considering you had already said quite clearly that you dismiss whatever he thinks on one topic.

I said he isn't trans so how would he be an expert on what its like to be trans.

That's another instance of disregarding what an expert on psychology pertaining to the field of psychology. I would advise that you do not just assume you know everything. Only you know your feelings, but I would defer to an expert as to what those feelings mean.

Furthermore, if you don't trust your therapist, the therapy isn't doing you any good. Find someone you do trust and then listen to their advice.

Hmm so like a farm?

No. You're telling me you don't know what suburbs are? If so:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suburb

you may say that thats fucked up, but whats fucked up is being single your whole life and being rejected by the woman you love, just because you arent a white cis man with a lot of money.

Aaaand, now you sound like Elliot Rodger.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Natasha_Lynn » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:24 pm

julie.chan wrote:Aaaand, now you sound like Elliot Rodger.


Well she does post in manifesto form...

Maybe Demon should try looksmaxing?
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Demon » Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:00 am

julie.chan wrote:That's another instance of disregarding what an expert on psychology pertaining to the field of psychology. I would advise that you do not just assume you know everything. Only you know your feelings, but I would defer to an expert as to what those feelings mean.

Furthermore, if you don't trust your therapist, the therapy isn't doing you any good. Find someone you do trust and then listen to their advice.

Transness has been barely even studied as a psychology until recently and most professionals lack training or knowledge in the matter. I never said I don't trust my therapist either, you sure do like to put words in my mouth.

Hmm so like a farm?

No. You're telling me you don't know what suburbs are? If so:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suburb

So what suburb is it that you live in?

you may say that thats fucked up, but whats fucked up is being single your whole life and being rejected by the woman you love, just because you arent a white cis man with a lot of money.

Aaaand, now you sound like Elliot Rodger.[/quote]
Natasha_Lynn wrote:
julie.chan wrote:Aaaand, now you sound like Elliot Rodger.


Well she does post in manifesto form...

Maybe Demon should try looksmaxing?

Never heard of that website before, googled it, and it wouldn't pop up.
Also, my name is demon and many villians sound similar to each other. however i dont plan on killing 7 people and throwing my life away right now. i will not be a victim to the cruel world and to suicide myself or be thrown in jail by the uncaring majority.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby julie.chan » Mon Jan 15, 2018 11:20 am

I'm going to say this straight-up: I don't believe for a second you are transgender, what with you saying that you hate the effects of estrogen and are forcing yourself to remember to hate your body and "I'm bored with my penis!" nonsense. Whatever problems you have with hating everything or whatever, it doesn't sound to me like gender dysphoria. If you won't take it from your therapist because "they don't understaaaaahaaaand!", take it from me.

So what suburb is it that you live in?

That's none of your business. Frankly, even what state I live in is none of your business. What are you getting at, anyway?
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Natasha_Lynn » Mon Jan 15, 2018 12:08 pm

julie.chan wrote:I'm going to say this straight-up: I don't believe for a second you are transgender, what with you saying that you hate the effects of estrogen and are forcing yourself to remember to hate your body and "I'm bored with my penis!" nonsense. Whatever problems you have with hating everything or whatever, it doesn't sound to me like gender dysphoria. If you won't take it from your therapist because "they don't understaaaaahaaaand!", take it from me.


Demon needs medication alright and I don't mean the HRT variety.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Lesley Niyori » Mon Jan 15, 2018 12:42 pm

Natasha_Lynn wrote:
julie.chan wrote:I'm going to say this straight-up: I don't believe for a second you are transgender, what with you saying that you hate the effects of estrogen and are forcing yourself to remember to hate your body and "I'm bored with my penis!" nonsense. Whatever problems you have with hating everything or whatever, it doesn't sound to me like gender dysphoria. If you won't take it from your therapist because "they don't understaaaaahaaaand!", take it from me.


Demon needs medication alright and I don't mean the HRT variety.


Yep. I mean, I'm not going to be nasty to her regardless of what she posts. Because I'd rather not be guilty of what I won't tolerate headed my own way.

But she sure seems angry eh. If she was a guy, I'd say she sounds like she was in dire need of a blowjob. Which is funny I guess, as she actually could get one :)
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Demon » Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:52 pm

Lesley Niyori wrote:
Natasha_Lynn wrote:
julie.chan wrote:I'm going to say this straight-up: I don't believe for a second you are transgender, what with you saying that you hate the effects of estrogen and are forcing yourself to remember to hate your body and "I'm bored with my penis!" nonsense. Whatever problems you have with hating everything or whatever, it doesn't sound to me like gender dysphoria. If you won't take it from your therapist because "they don't understaaaaahaaaand!", take it from me.


Demon needs medication alright and I don't mean the HRT variety.


Yep. I mean, I'm not going to be nasty to her regardless of what she posts. Because I'd rather not be guilty of what I won't tolerate headed my own way.

But she sure seems angry eh. If she was a guy, I'd say she sounds like she was in dire need of a blowjob. Which is funny I guess, as she actually could get one :)


i dont particularly care for blowjobs.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Demon » Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:53 pm

julie.chan wrote:I'm going to say this straight-up: I don't believe for a second you are transgender, what with you saying that you hate the effects of estrogen and are forcing yourself to remember to hate your body and "I'm bored with my penis!" nonsense. Whatever problems you have with hating everything or whatever, it doesn't sound to me like gender dysphoria. If you won't take it from your therapist because "they don't understaaaaahaaaand!", take it from me.

So what suburb is it that you live in?

That's none of your business. Frankly, even what state I live in is none of your business. What are you getting at, anyway?


I never said i forced myself to hate my body. are you mentally retarded or what? Also its funny that you say im not a real transwoman but the avatar you choose looks like a micro dick and balls.

also its funny how you have nothing better to do than to go around and bully an enraged oppressed transwomen of the community while you claim to be a supporter of the community, like some testosterone fueled jockstrap alpha fratboy of the school. but you know what the say testosterone doesnt make the man and that bullies are really just little girls on the inside so maybe you are a woman after all.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby julie.chan » Mon Jan 15, 2018 5:58 pm

the avatar you choose looks like a micro dick and balls.

It's a gnu. Head in the gutter much?

like some testosterone fueled jockstrap alpha fratboy of the school

My endocrinologist says my testosterone is through the floor, below average for women.

I wouldn't call anything I've ever said to you "bullying". But hey, whatever helps you sleep at night.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby Demon » Mon Jan 15, 2018 7:42 pm

julie.chan wrote:
the avatar you choose looks like a micro dick and balls.

It's a gnu. Head in the gutter much?

like some testosterone fueled jockstrap alpha fratboy of the school

My endocrinologist says my testosterone is through the floor, below average for women.

I wouldn't call anything I've ever said to you "bullying". But hey, whatever helps you sleep at night.


So accusing me of being cisgender is not bullying. Right. So all of my life struggles and dysphoria you say didn't exist, that i was just some regular cisgender cretin who's "one of the boys" and as a cretin has no value of beauty or anything else, just shaped like a square with no sleeks or curves. not to mention when i tried to be one of the boys i rarely if ever fit in, always last pick in sports affairs, still a virgin unlike the rest of the jocks (jokes). like you think i look at men on tv and say I want to be them, all wrinkly and manly looking as if i am some kind of cretin who doesnt appreciate beauty. and misgendering me and accusing me of being a fraud is not bullying at all? Right.

So like if some transphobe goes on TV and says transwomen are fake, they are really men. This is not bullying to you? this is not insanely hurtful to you? ok whatever. 2+2=5 I guess.
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Re: giving up on being trans.

Postby julie.chan » Mon Jan 15, 2018 8:09 pm

So accusing me of being cisgender is not bullying.

No. It isn't. It isn't an accusation, either. Being cisgender isn't a negative quality. All of my friends are cisgender.

that i was just some regular cisgender cretin who's "one of the boys" and as a cretin has no value of beauty or anything else, just shaped like a square with no sleeks or curves.

What's that you said about putting words into people's mouths, again? "Value of beauty" has nothing to do with whether you're a man or a woman, and I don't know or care about your appearance.

all wrinkly and manly looking as if i am some kind of cretin who doesnt appreciate beauty

Yeah, I get it, you're a raging misandrist. :roll:

So like if some transphobe goes on TV and says transwomen are fake, they are really men. This is not bullying to you?

No. Bullying is specifically targeted and repeated. If saying you don't believe transwomen are really women on TV, i.e. to no one in particular, is bullying, then so is categorically calling cisgender men "cretins".
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