The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

RLT, HRT, FFS, and SRS Support

Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby Lesley Niyori » Sat Sep 30, 2017 3:16 pm

Start prowling for sales on things like feminine hygiene products.

Pantie liners are cheap and volume friendly, but in my 4 months since GRS, I conclude actual pads will serve you better. You don't need anything more than a modest pad, but, the daily experience for me is only a pad will save you from panties always ending up damp from what a panty liner won't absorb.

No really, if you have 20 or 30 packs of 20-30 pads of an economical brand, that's only a start :)

Find a nice supply of medical grade lube, and buy a shit load.

Trust me on this :)

Dilating is messy, go to a dollar store and find some cheap terrycloth hand towels, about a dozen. when dilating, sit on these, and just rinse them off in the shower after you are done. They clean up fine, and you can hang them up to dry in the bathroom and you won't need to worry about needing costly pads for this.

Find a nice source of antibacterial dish soap to clean your dilators.

Of all of my journey, the only hard part has been affording the post-surgery supplies.
Make sure your panties are all proper in design for pads. You're going to be wearing pads all day every day for a long while.
Just trying to cope.
email is sukunai.ni.yori@hotmail.com
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby CeliaEriksson » Sat Sep 30, 2017 5:02 pm

Hi Jessica,

I wish you so very well on the final part of your journey! I'm going to follow your blog coz I know you are a nice person from everything you have written. I'm always going to live without SRS, I like being special. I admire you for going the whole hog if it's right for you. Good for you hun, we are all different. Best wishes Celia xx (PS....and there was I calling you Jen!)
Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
Mary Tyler Moore.
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby Lesley Niyori » Sat Sep 30, 2017 5:25 pm

This will sound weird of course, but I'm dealing with it myself actually.

3 years or more of depression, anxiety, fear, and worry that something will happen, something will prevent GRS.

Then I'm laying in bed groaning, ice packs in my panties, aching from breast augmentation and laughing to myself "I'm all woman now, it finally happened, ouch that hurts".

And now, I'm feeling stressed out over a weird sensation. I'm unsure, it might be 'happiness" but I'm unsure. I forgot what 'happy' felt like. I seem weirdly 'uncomfortable'. Because I can't relate to the sensation. Is it happiness and it's just so long that I felt it that it confuses me :)

I have also experienced euphoria since GRS. I spent most of August strangely giddy.
Just trying to cope.
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby Lesley Niyori » Sun Oct 01, 2017 5:31 pm

My experience of estrogen and new boobs is it is more about internal rebuilding and not as much about size.

The first 2 years, my breasts ached. They weren't getting bigger so much as they were changing. I have no problem with the notion if life made me pregnant, they would be able to breastfeed.

They weren't so much getting bigger as they were getting better.

I wasn't able to sleep on them until recently.

They're going to be sore regardless of what they are doing.
Just trying to cope.
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby Kay » Sun Oct 08, 2017 10:19 am

jentay1367 wrote:Particularly in the case of my 59 year old ass that is possibly sporting about a thimble full of HGH. As most of us know, as you get older, without HGH you get shit results from HRT.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormonal_ ... nhancement

"In women with Laron syndrome, where the growth hormone receptor (GHR) is defective and insensitive to GH and serum IGF-1 levels are very low, puberty, including breast development, is delayed, although full sexual maturity is always eventually reached.[27] Moreover, breast development and size are normal (albeit delayed) in spite of GH/IGF-1 axis insufficiency"

"An animal model of Laron syndrome, the GHR knockout mouse, shows severely impaired ductal outgrowth at 11 weeks of age.[29][30][31] However, by 15 weeks, ductal development has caught up with that of normal mice and the ducts have fully distributed throughout the mammary fat pad, although the ducts remain narrower than those of wild-type mice.[29][30][31]"

This suggests there is more than just HGH.

Did I mention I'm on a butt-load of E? Okay, so none of this would matter except for the fact that I'm finally seeing some meaningful differences. Softer skin, the beginning of fat redistribution, better moods with more serenity as well as the titty fairy finally making a showing. So I'm a happy girl. It will be interesting to see how things shape up as I've literally only been on this new program for about six weeks. But my oh my, the changes have been so encouraging.


There you go! I think many doctors are UNDERTREATING their patients and their fear of higher doses is not justified scientifically. Maybe wait a little before BA as you might end up with decent breast growth on just hormones? You save some money and get to incur less pain. :)
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby MikiSJ » Mon Oct 09, 2017 6:55 pm

CeliaEriksson wrote:...I'm always going to live without SRS, I like being special....

I too will live the rest of my life with my boy stuff hanging there (although I would like to get rid of the boys).

I have had two wonderful therapists who helped me find Miki and her true self. My current therapist (S) knows that when I show up dressed in braless (I am a size A) a pair of clogs, NYDJ jeans, a tee-shirt and MAYBE some light makeup that a woman is sitting in the chair.

It is sometimes tiring to talk about this gender spectrum that we all live on. But it is true that once we find out who we are, we can then get on with our lives as this found person - how ever that person wants to present her/himself as.

I have found Miki. Jess has found Jess, Celia has found Celia and Susan has found Susan, and...we have or will become who we are - and that is good, so very good.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks. Doodling is allowed. I have started a new chapter but will still use a pencil.
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby VegasJen » Thu Oct 12, 2017 2:12 am

Just a quick comment on the BA issue. If you think you need, or just want, BA, do it at the same time. The fact is, by the time your lower body is ready to lift, turn and walk, your boobs will feel fine. I would be cautious of how soon after your surgery you're talking about moving. You should not, and will not want, to be lifting and moving a bunch of stuff for at least the first 5-6 weeks. Even after that, no strenuous exercise for probably 8-10 weeks post op.
I had my BA about two weeks after bottom surgery and my boobs were fine several weeks before I was physically able to resume totally normal activities.
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby VegasJen » Thu Oct 12, 2017 12:48 pm

Be careful there. I would have loved to gone bigger but my surgeon wouldn't do it. I didn't have enough breast at the time and he warned me that, 1) he simply couldn't fit anything larger (500cc) in the tissue available and 2) anything larger and I run the risk of separating the skin from the sternum. If that happened then there would be a permanent flap of skin essentially "floating" between the two implants. Of course, I don't know how much breast tissue you have and that's a factor. At the time of my BA I was a large A or small B cup. 2.5 years of hormones and I had shit to show for it. :x
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Wear comfortable shoes.
-------
Born--5/70
Accepted--9/13
1st psych appt--10/13
Started electrolysis--11/13
HRT--3/14
Full time--7/14
Name/gender marker--8/14
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby Mom2TranAdult » Thu Oct 12, 2017 8:13 pm

jentay1367 wrote: ...When my bag of tricks of physical magic is exhausted, what will I grab at when the monster still rears its head? My biggest fear is there will be no way to slay the dragon. It is a terrifying thought.


Maybe- Try making friends with the dragon instead. I hope you are feeling better.
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby Mom2TranAdult » Thu Oct 12, 2017 10:16 pm

I really do hope you are feeling better. :)

Sometimes you can make friends with deep sadness ... by just letting it visit for a bit without also invitng shame judgment, and anger. It tends to not last as long that way. Maybe something you haven’t tied yet, that’s all.
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby DawnF » Sat Oct 14, 2017 9:18 am

jentay1367 wrote: So here I go! I'll post more soon about what I'm feeling and where my head is at on all this stuff. It's swimming in a world of different emotions and I hope this helps me wrestle some of them into submission. Till then, be well my Sisters and Brothers and thanks for reading! Jessica


Thanks for sharing, and wishing you the very best!!
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby Kay » Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:08 am

I'm 12 yrs post-op, pass 100% of the time, also on the phone because my voice passes too. I've been approached by several guys all throughout my transition, been whistled at, given numerous compliments, even by women BUT even now, there are days when I still see HIM in the mirror so it's something we must live with because our mind works that way, it latches on to old images we have. I also can get paranoid about my voice and my anxiety over it never leaves me completely. No surgery will ever help with this, it is far from perfect and will only raise pitch meanwhile resonance (and self-confidence) are KEY.

The silver lining is, WE GET TO FINALLY BE OURSELVES, the more we get out there, spend time with people who only know us as the women we are, the more we start seeing ourselves as who we truly are AND a little testosterone can actually help, as I'VE found out LOL so maybe not let those levels drop too low (?)...also when u really feel dysphoric, take some progesterone orally...or Xanax, that will do the trick for a few hours, make you feel good and help you see what the entire world sees too...A WOMAN!
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Re: The end of physical transitioning. A Diary.

Postby Kay » Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:16 am

Inhouse...Allchemist? Those online pharmacies or ask your doctor.
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