I had someone call me Ma'am today!

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I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby DawnF » Fri Dec 08, 2017 5:33 pm

It was at Jiffy Lube and I wasn't even trying to pass. The associate said, "Thank you, Ma'am". Maybe he was being sarcastic, who knows?! But, it made my day nonetheless!!
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Tara » Fri Dec 08, 2017 9:33 pm

Congratulations! It still makes me feel great.
~*~ Tara

“What do you fear, lady?” he asked.
“A cage,” she said. “To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby CeliaEriksson » Sat Dec 09, 2017 5:47 am

Great news Dawn, when most likely he thought you were female without you even trying! Keep a close eye out then for this; use peripheral vision and see when men are checking your bottom out. I love it every time! More so when they are buff and much, much younger! But seems to occur most when they are with their significant other and for some very unknown and un-angelic, un-me-like.... tralalalalalala..... reason, I enjoy it then too!
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby DawnF » Sat Dec 09, 2017 9:53 am

CeliaEriksson wrote:Great news Dawn, when most likely he thought you were female without you even trying! Keep a close eye out then for this; use peripheral vision and see when men are checking your bottom out. I love it every time! More so when they are buff and much, much younger! But seems to occur most when they are with their significant other and for some very unknown and un-angelic, un-me-like.... tralalalalalala..... reason, I enjoy it then too!


I have a gay man at my office, and he was looking me "up and down" a few months back. Finally, I noticed him because he kept staring at me with this expressionless, stoic look on his face. I turned away and then looked back; same look. I was flattered but at the same time thinking, "Hey, buddy, I am not thinking what you're thinking!" We are still on good terms, though.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby CamTheFTM » Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:09 pm

Yay!
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby DawnF » Sun Dec 10, 2017 3:20 pm

I have daydreamed about that, even though I am not gay.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Papillon » Thu Feb 01, 2018 5:48 am

I've been ma'am'ed a few times but it was by socially-conscious people being polite and doing the right thing, not because I pass.

I'll pass from orbit if I'm lucky. Well, maybe. Astronauts usually have good eyesight don't they.

TBH I don't really give a fuck whether I pass or not, and that makes the ma'ams so much nicer because it doesn't take special effort - but those moments are rare.
Fear is the mind killer.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Lesley Niyori » Thu Feb 01, 2018 8:12 am

I have noooooo real idea if I pass.

A man isn't going to buy you a beer if they think you're a guy in a dress.

You won't get wolf whistles if you don't look like a woman while wearing a short skirt.

I get mam quite a lot and the correct pronouns all the time, but my voice gets 'sir' on the phone. I'm very much certain my voice is confusing in person in public. And yet, they treat me correctly. I get he and him occasionally with the guys at the hobby club meeting in conversation, but, after years now of meetings, it's plenty apparent I'm treated like a lady even though my being transgender female is well known to them.

"Passing" can mean a lot of things. Can you give a hetero male a hard-on? If you wear a swimsuit on a beach, can you turn heads? Are you treated like a woman?
I don't know about erections, have not done the swimsuit yet, but, my being treated like a woman is 100% genuine.

I've stood in the ladies room on my cell phone chatting to a gal pal chuckling about my husband not being amused by my spending, and in the presence of cis females and I don't feel a hint of worry. I don't make it a point to exit the ladies room as fast as possible. I'm a woman, I belong in there as much as any other girl. I've gabbed while a friend was in her own stall while I waited on her.

Passing is as much a behaviour as it is a visual perk. If you don't seem like a woman, they will just think your breasts are fake and presume you have a pecker in your panties. Hair can be considered a wig, and makeup only enhances, it won't alter your facial structure.

But I walk head up, I talk freely to any and all. I conduct myself as a woman. I don't reek of fear and paranoia. Yeah, I wonder "what are they thinking" so what, I routinely think all sorts of things as people pass me. And it isn't "did I pass", it's things like "holy shit I hope I never get that fat" or how fucking drunk did he need to be to knock her up?" or "don't you own a mirror?"
If you are verbally mean to me, I will verbally bite you back.
If you attempt to chastise me for verbally biting someone who was verbally mean to me, I'll verbally bite you too. Don't be quoting me rules either.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Papillon » Thu Feb 01, 2018 8:25 am

Lesley,

I think you're lovely. Looking at your picture, well, knowing that you used to be male automatically makes my eye more.. discerning and exact, if you follow me. And that makes me notice the small male things that we will never get rid of. Most other people, not having this heads-up, will rarely notice I reckon.

As far as I'm concerned, you've reached a level of integration that most transgals would kill to have.
Fear is the mind killer.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Lesley Niyori » Thu Feb 01, 2018 8:34 am

Thanks :)

Yeah, I have been my own worst critic. That 'inside' knowledge thing is hard to look past.

I've had men buy me a beer, I've been whistled at, I've been on dates, so as much as I might grumble, I have to have something going for me.

Still, I'm still Miss. not, Mrs. in spite of my attempts to change that.
If you are verbally mean to me, I will verbally bite you back.
If you attempt to chastise me for verbally biting someone who was verbally mean to me, I'll verbally bite you too. Don't be quoting me rules either.
sukunai.ni.yori@hotmail.com
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Papillon » Thu Feb 01, 2018 8:37 am

Oh, and I've decided that I like not passing.

Having thought about it some, it's down to a few things:

1) Catching men in the chest-staring act is amusing, even if it's a WTF-stare
2) Most people are genuinely nice to me and knowing that they put in that effort is reaffirming and, well, it's just damn nice.
3) I get to be "sirred" and work up some nice righteous indignation. All of us like being righteously indignant don't we? :lol:
4) I get to coyly stare back at men with a demure smile when I catch them double-taking
5) I like pushing buttons.
6) Something about lipstick+stubble is sexy as fuck. :)


NB: Lesley, are ya fucking mad lass? Marriage is for the S&M crowd - you're on the wrong forum.
Fear is the mind killer.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Lesley Niyori » Thu Feb 01, 2018 8:50 am

"NB: Lesley, are ya fucking mad lass? Marriage is for the S&M crowd - you're on the wrong forum."

Heheheh, ya I know, I'm addicted to them (men) though.

I've never had one, don't even know why I want one, just can't seem to help myself.

I waste too much time searching for one.

The moment I hear one call me beautiful my logical mind just shuts off.

And I write romance novels, so I just can't win.
If you are verbally mean to me, I will verbally bite you back.
If you attempt to chastise me for verbally biting someone who was verbally mean to me, I'll verbally bite you too. Don't be quoting me rules either.
sukunai.ni.yori@hotmail.com
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Lesley Niyori » Thu Feb 01, 2018 8:52 am

Oh by the way, nice sig line. I wonder how many others understand it?
If you are verbally mean to me, I will verbally bite you back.
If you attempt to chastise me for verbally biting someone who was verbally mean to me, I'll verbally bite you too. Don't be quoting me rules either.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Papillon » Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:00 am

I'm a Bene Gesserit BITCH! :D

ETA: or "You show me your Gom Jabbar, I'll show you mine" :P
Fear is the mind killer.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Lesley Niyori » Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:32 am

I used to look like a guy, then, through some creative use of dangerous substances, I became the Kwisatz Haderack, and yes, I can now stare back at women in places they thought I couldn't go, like the ladies room :)
If you are verbally mean to me, I will verbally bite you back.
If you attempt to chastise me for verbally biting someone who was verbally mean to me, I'll verbally bite you too. Don't be quoting me rules either.
sukunai.ni.yori@hotmail.com
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby Papillon » Thu Feb 01, 2018 11:59 am

:mrgreen: quality
Fear is the mind killer.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby SophieCantDance » Mon Mar 26, 2018 10:35 am

Fuck yeah! I got ma'amed by airport security. Well madam-ed I guess, but same difference :p
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby DawnF » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:44 pm

Congrats! Security (and, the police, too) are very good at IDing people.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby MikiSJ » Wed Mar 28, 2018 8:07 pm

I have not been out of the house for awhile, but the most of the time all I was getting was a second thoughtful/questioning glance, but mostly a smile, thank you and ma'am. My voice is still deep but I can dial it back to a Feminine Bea Arthur when necessary.

On the phone - I might as well be a lumberjack, oh, well.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks. Doodling is allowed. I have started a new chapter but will still use a pencil.
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Re: I had someone call me Ma'am today!

Postby REM1126 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 9:28 pm

MikiSJ wrote:On the phone - I might as well be a lumberjack, oh, well.

You made me think of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgaRd4d8hOY
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