jokers true feelings, a work of fiction.

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jokers true feelings, a work of fiction.

Postby Demon » Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:50 pm

not sure where to put this thread, it is a tg fiction story i wrote.

i was born a man. well, born male. but in gotham city, you are born a man. its nothing but grime and dirt. you have to go through the grime, no jobs so you have to do crime, and once you do the crime you do the time. i was born a man. nobody in the city gave a care about me. if you were rich you were rich. if you were poor you were poor. if you were a man nobody would even give a look at you. the criminals just viewed you as a goon for hire. a brute, to lift their heavy boxes for a few bucks. if you were a woman, the criminals just viewed you as easy money, either to pimp on the streets, or to rob in a dark alley. it was a grim city, and i was sick of prison. sick of being treated subhuman by the pigs. i looked in the mirror and just saw a caveman? What was I? Just someone nobody cared about. Someone lucky to get a job that lasted even a few days.

I looked in the mirror and i had a protruding brow like Anthony Hopkins. Scruff on my face everyday. I had to shave every day just to look presentable. I lived in a cold, rotted old apartment alone. Each night was agony for me, noone to talk to, no future ahead of me, only darkness. Hello darkness my old friend. The smell of my apartment was almost unbearable, there was mold already growing inside the walls. Turning on the TV made me even more depressed, government shutdowns and everything else. Who was I and what was I doing on this god-forksaken world.

So when I heard in the news that Joker was hiring a new harley quinn, and offering 500k, it got me thinking. My whole life I always hated women, hated how beautiful they had it and how they didn't have to suffer like I did. I was an ugly brute, made for prison. No men cared about me, i had to fight and claw my way just to survive. Cops gave me a cold meal everyday, cold and uncaring, some of them couldn't even look me in the eye. Its been so long since I felt any warmth or care for anybody. Feels like their whole plan was just to get me behind bars.

So I started thinking about Joker's offer, a new harley quinn. And then it dawned on me, it was perfect. I started crying. I heard about this transgender thing in the news, a part of me wanted to try it out, but i was always afraid what the boys and my so called friends would think. What if I went to prison after converting over? Id never hear the end of it. I had my reputation to think about. Otherwise I'd be a laughing stock. But with this 500k offered by the Joker, I realized I could finally do it. I could finally become the woman I always secretly wanted to be. I could afford all the surgeries and the botox to become a real woman.

When I went to Joker's hideout I was nervous. Not that he would shoot me, I know that he rarely shoots people unless you make him mad. But I was nervous because there was a whole long line of Harley Quinn imposters. But i was the real harley quinn. The real deal. I just had to focus and i knew Joker would accept me.

Joker went through the long line and he seemed dissapointed. After each person he started to grow more and more depressed, and slouch more and more. I was the last in line, and when he got to me I could tell in his eyes that he was a broken man. He went to say something to me, but couldn't muster the energy to say it. I actually could see in his eyes that the whole ordeal had made him lose his entire faith in humanity. He just silently walked away into the shadows, never to be heard from again, like a defeated animal.

The whole town was concerned, noone had heard from Joker for months. Did he truly finally lose his mind this time? Did he go on the deep end, and was he trying to think of some cockamamey plan to blow up the whole city? Everyone was on edge. Finally, some boy ran into the room, saying he had news about the Joker's whearabouts. He said he went to Batman for help. Batman for help? Now he's truly lost it. Was he gonna rat out of all our of names in exchange for getting them to clean his record?

But at the moment of the most confusion and tension, Joker opens the room. He has big boobs and is wearing a bikini. He, or I should say she, is a beautiful woman now. She walks up to me and curls her finger at me, puts her arm around my shoulder to beckons me to enter a secret room. She sits me on the bed and taps my leg. Her mannerisms are the same as before, and then I realized something - that she was always trans. I realized why Joker always creeped me out, because she always had the same annoying pushy mannerisms as a Las Vegas casino showgirl. Like in this video here.

So as we were sitting on the bed Joker spilled to me the beans. She says that she wanted to thank me, that my putting on the effort to put on makeup made her realize something, that he was a woman in the wrong body. This she tells me her story.

"All my life I was always angry. I never really even knew why I was angry I just was. I always wanted to beat people up too. I always wanted to bully people I hated them. I would watch TV and I would hate all the men and women on TV, I just wanted to choke them. When I saw a beautiful woman I would quietly purr with rage. I just felt such envy and contempt towards everybody. The other thing was, I always felt hollow. Like life was meaningless and I was missing something in my life. I always craved some kind of excitement but it never fulfilled me ever.

It started to dawn on me that something was wrong with me, not because I wanted to kill people. I mean, people are assholes, everybody wants to kill people, that's a given. But I really started to think something was wrong with me based on the way I interacted with Harley Quinn. She really loved me and I just couldn't process it. I immediately started wonder if something was wrong me, because one day she was totally naked, and covered in pudding. Now such a thing is supposed to arouse a man, but when I saw it it just disturbed me and made me feel really weird and uncomfortable. Now I think harley quinn is beautiful but for some reason I couldn't get it up, and her being naked just made me feel angry. I just wanted to forget about and ignore the whole thing. But later that night I cried. I realized I was a lesbian, and my whole life I've been trying to ignore my feelings. And that I'm sexually dysfunctional.

I remembered that, one day I was in jail eating potato chips, and then I shot 5 people after she called me a man. Even though she was trying to help me, her calling me a man pissed me off so much, it was like automatic, like I was triggered, so I pulled the trigger, I guess you could call me a true social justice "warrior" (laughs). I just hate being called a man for some reason. Mainly because I hate men. But I hate when people call me by my birth name too. I just like being called Joker. And when I saw that Caitylyn Jenner thing on TV, and she voted for a clown for president, I said hmm maybe I'm not so different from that person. I also noticed that mine and her's voice is very similar at times. And I was like, my life is boring anyway, and in a few years I'm probably going to die, so why not get a sex change?

So I went to batman crying for amnesty. I spilled the beans on him and told him the truth. I realized the reason I want to kill everyone is because I hate my life. I feel so hollow inside. I just want batman to hold me and marry me. I want the warmth of Lex Luthor to treat me like his girl. But I know neither of them will ever take me seriously so I just make it all like a joke. But deep down I am a lesbian and I just want Harley Quinn to view me as her girlfriend. So I was on my knees to batman, begging, I promised that was the reason I commit crime and that i would reform. Batman realized that I was telling the truth, and that utlimately the only way he was ever gonna stop me from commiting crime was either killing me, or this, so he chose this, paid for my sex change with his charity."

So then I spilled the beans to Joker, told her my story. Joker said "A deals a deal" and said "sure". Next thing you know I had a sex change and was a finally Harley Quinn. I finally felt good for the first time in years. And as I cuddled Joker I saw a little girl who had to go through living a whole life of a brutal lie. No longer did I see the monster everybody else saw, I just saw a girl finally freed from her terrible nightmare.
my life is mostly pain
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Re: jokers true feelings, a work of fiction.

Postby SophieCantDance » Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:59 am

Great story @Demon. If only any of us could be in a situation where the "Next thing you know I had a sex change and was a finally [a woman]".
Sophie <3
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