How to answer

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How to answer

Postby Tara » Wed Oct 11, 2017 12:28 pm

A theoretical question that almost became real last night: "Who is your gynecologist?"

For background, I am pre-op, but post lots of electrolysis, and generally blend in as a woman pretty well. After a run last night, a group of us were discussing some medical issues, and later I realized that that question could have been asked. Fortunately, it didn't go that way, but if it had, how to answer?

The obvious answer is the honest one, "I don't have one." But that is likely to lead on to more questions about when I've had mammograms or pap smears (never, of course), and I'd rather not go there.

Do any of you have clever ways to deflect or redirect such questioning?
~*~ Tara

“What do you fear, lady?” he asked.
“A cage,” she said. “To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
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Re: How to answer

Postby CuteButLooksPregnant » Wed Oct 11, 2017 8:03 pm

How about being straightforward---" I never discuss private medical concerns, Thank You ! "
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Re: How to answer

Postby Danette Celeste » Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:01 am

Another aspect is that not all women see a GYN doc. A great many see Family Practice clinicians - either MDs, PAs or Family Nurse Practitioners, all of which are well qualified to provide primary care across the lifespan.

Family practice docs can, if they choose, manage HRT and other aspects of transition including preoperative workups.

But in the end, I agree with Ponytails - it's your choice about how to answer including choosing to not answer. Lots of people don't see any medical provider unless they absolutely need to.

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Re: How to answer

Postby MikiSJ » Thu Oct 12, 2017 12:08 pm

CuteButLooksPregnant wrote:How about being straightforward---" I never discuss private medical concerns, Thank You ! "

This would work for me but would probably prompt some 'what are you hiding' type inquiries.

Maybe:
    I just moved here and haven't had a chance to locate one in my plan.

    I used to see a GYN in [town] but she moved away or retired.

    It is none of your effing business.
The latter response will tend to send people you don't like away, but that is ok.
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Re: How to answer

Postby Tara » Thu Oct 12, 2017 12:31 pm

As I said, fortunately it hasn't come to that yet. The "none of your effing business" might be effective, but, as I'd like to keep friends, perhaps I'd need to tone it down just a bit. :lol:

So far I'm leaning towards Danette's suggestion, as my doctor is part of a large practice that includes PAs, Nurse Practioners, and other MDs at multiple locations. Then, if they were to press, I could always fall back onto "I prefer not to discuss my medical issues with people who haven't signed a HIPAA non-disclosure form for me." :-P
~*~ Tara

“What do you fear, lady?” he asked.
“A cage,” she said. “To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
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Re: How to answer

Postby MikiSJ » Thu Oct 12, 2017 1:01 pm

Tara wrote:As I said, fortunately it hasn't come to that yet. The "none of your effing business" might be effective, but, as I'd like to keep friends, perhaps I'd need to tone it down just a bit.

I agree that would not be appropriate with friends.
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Re: How to answer

Postby jentay1367 » Thu Oct 12, 2017 2:45 pm

I'll assume you're "stealth" or the point would be moot. I'm quite lucky in the fact that the Dr. I see for hormones belongs to a University Group that handles Women's issues with fertility being the main one. So I have a group I deal with and there are OB/GYN'S there already. Yay for me!
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Re: How to answer

Postby Mom2TranAdult » Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:44 pm

Cis female perspective -

I am in my mid 50’s - cis female- and have never seen a ObyGyne (even after having two children) . Also no one has ever asked me that question to date .

Therefore - if your issue is being “outed” (not sure if it is) then responding with anything more than

“I’ve never needed one” or
“Don’t have one”

could make you suspect. Simple is better.

Not sure if things a different in other parts of the world (I’m in Canada)- but that’s my take on it. I view it like Danette.
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Re: How to answer

Postby Tara » Thu Oct 12, 2017 10:15 pm

jentay1367 wrote:I'll assume you're "stealth" or the point would be moot.


Not deep stealth, but I prefer not to draw attention where I don't feel it's necessary. Stealth-ish?

@Mom2TranAdult, I'm also in my mid 50s, a late bloomer. I am fortunate enough to live in one of the states with the best protections for gender identity and presentation. So, while being outed wouldn't be the end of the world, I just prefer to avoid it unless it's pertinent. "I've never used one" is probably the best, most simple, straightforward, and absolutely true response.
~*~ Tara

“What do you fear, lady?” he asked.
“A cage,” she said. “To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
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