Dating, as I see it, my 2018 perspective

Significant Others, Family, and Friends

Dating, as I see it, my 2018 perspective

Postby Lesley Niyori » Mon Jan 08, 2018 5:17 pm

Ok, I've been trying since like 2015.

Aaaaaannd most of it has been dreadful.

I've had some ok dates. Never led to anything, but, I can at least say, yeah, the man at least treated me like a lady.

But, here's the current opinion for me with online dating.

First off, if the site focuses on transgender, you can forget meeting anyone worth meeting. Yes, I said that as a flat out statement.

Second, I have found that listing as transgender is likely better than listing as just your actual gender. IE I didn't get any value out of just listing as a woman. I finally broke and just accepted I might as well just list as transgender and be able to state "well no, I didn't hide anything from you buster".

But here's the real hassle. I'm going to just say, online dating appears to be about your pictures. If they suck, your chances will too. If you have one lousy picture, your chances suck even more so. I am currently on Plenty of Fish, and I have 8 really good complimentary images of me. I get plenty enough inquiries/greetings from men. But the problem is, there is usually little or no indication they looked at the profile. So they will have missed out on my saying I was transgender in the details about myself.

I think YouTube has it about right. Too many guys too unwilling to just get off their friggin butts and actually commit to coming for a damned date.

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY EVEN ON A DATING SITE FOR, TO BEGIN WITH?

It's sure getting annoying some days.

But here is my advice, if you actually try this frustrating notion (online dating).
Spare no effort to get them to respond to whether or not they are actually coming anytime soon.
Make them aware, if they are not coming within a week, they might as well accept that you will just delete the conversation and be moving on.

Unless of course you actually DO just want to chat about nothing for no purpose indefinitely.
If you are verbally mean to me, I will verbally bite you back.
If you attempt to chastise me for verbally biting someone who was verbally mean to me, I'll verbally bite you too. Don't be quoting me rules either.
sukunai.ni.yori@hotmail.com
User avatar
Lesley Niyori
Member
 
Posts: 260
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:27 pm
Location: Lindsay Ontario Canada

Re: Dating, as I see it, my 2018 perspective

Postby kris » Wed Jan 10, 2018 3:05 am

I am in favour of online dating in concept, but not so much in practice. It feels like people either run the extremes of looking for hookups, or looking for some fictional 110% perfect soulmate. Those with more realistic expectations have, perhaps, become window shoppers (and I am guilty of that too).

I like that online dating gives me a chance to be more forthright. People get a sense of my eccentricities and dorky tendencies right away, there is no ambiguity in that I am looking for a romantic connection, and I can just get it out of the way that I am trans without having to waste the time of anyone who bothered to do more than just look at my picture. But I find beyond exchanging a few messages and mutual interest, something about online dating inspires apathy.

The person I have been seeing for the last half year or so was on the same dating site I was on, though that is not how we met. She said she saw my profile on the site, but having met me in real life decided to leave me some privacy and not read it. I’ve done the same for others such as a coworker and a doctor I see. But in this case there was mutual interest between us in real life, and it all sort of worked out. I wonder, had we connected online first, if it would have worked out as well.

That said, I do understand were it not for online dating, some would have few avenues for meeting new people. I am in my thirties and live in a city, so my eligible dating pool — while not oceanic — is big enough to have chances come along often enough.
kris
Member
 
Posts: 1021
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2015 4:31 pm
Location: Vancouver, BC

Re: Dating, as I see it, my 2018 perspective

Postby Lesley Niyori » Wed Jan 10, 2018 6:02 am

Sometimes some responses are simply just maddening.

Juuuust the other day I encountered a male (think they were ordinary hetero male), that was very aware I am a post-op transgender woman and was interested as he claimed I'd 'understand' him well.

Everything sounded positive. He was not so far a drive from me. To be honest, any man that can't drive 2 hours or less to find who they think might be Mrs. Right, should stop trying to find her. But yet, he eventually said "I'd rather look in Barrie" a town at the halfway point between us.

I wanted to scream at him "What? do you think we transgender girls are that fucking common? You finally find a girl you like, the same age, same interests, and you're going to take a pass, based on 30 minutes more travel time than you are interested in?"

I've had a man sit on his motorcycle for 3+ hours to come meet me. I don't think he was truly aware I was transgender, to begin with. It was a nice date, but it wasn't repeated. It's not like all men are just unwilling. But damn it, when one that is fully aware you are transgender and specifically interested in transgender, won't try as hard as a man who really wants a female will, there's simply something wrong with them.

I'm kinda glad he never came. I want a man who wants someone a great deal more so eh.
If you are verbally mean to me, I will verbally bite you back.
If you attempt to chastise me for verbally biting someone who was verbally mean to me, I'll verbally bite you too. Don't be quoting me rules either.
sukunai.ni.yori@hotmail.com
User avatar
Lesley Niyori
Member
 
Posts: 260
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:27 pm
Location: Lindsay Ontario Canada

Re: Dating, as I see it, my 2018 perspective

Postby Demon » Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:16 am

Lesley Niyori wrote:Sometimes some responses are simply just maddening.

honestly one of the more maddening responses is when they tell me i am too young, intelligent, or attractive for them.

it just makes me want throw a break a glass on the wall. wtf is this i'm living in, a twilight zone episode?
my life is mostly pain
User avatar
Demon
Member
 
Posts: 729
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2016 7:26 am


Return to Relationships

coiae

Consonance of Identity and Expression


© 2000 - 2016 The Ultimate Paradigm