The extent of my intimate experiences (adult content)

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The extent of my intimate experiences (adult content)

Postby Lesley Niyori » Sat Sep 30, 2017 8:37 am

As a 5-year-old, nothing really scares me more than sex.

But I will admit, it is reassuring that my body at least reacts to arousal in a female fashion.

I know this primarily as since the hormone therapy, the ONLY thing that gets me worked up, is a man. And while it is gone now (my penis), it was at least encouraging, at the time, that while females resulted in zero response whatsoever, it functioned just fine when a man got me excited. I had managed to wet my panties more than a few times while chatting with men online.

And the few times my first boyfriend was rubbing my legs and telling me how much he liked them, he sure managed to turn my panties into immediate laundry hehe.

The thing is, I never became erect, I simply did what females do, they produce a lot of lubrication.
It was encouraging, as I knew I'd still have the same actual parts after GRS, they would just be 'differently' designed. And I was encouraged, that my parts would behave as a woman needs then to behave.

Well, I'm still waiting on my clitoris to recover, and that is something that takes nearly a year to do so. So no, I have no idea what it will 'feel' like to orgasm as a female. Not yet.

But I have had a few 'moments' with a man to date. I once dated a man who was clearly a chaser 5 minutes after he arrived for our date. I only had the one date. But the one date was sure a revelation (for me). Yes, I did a lot of things wrong. I've never claimed to be all that smart. Do NOT get in a strange man's car. Been there and done that. Do not take your first time date to your home. Been there and done that too. And certainly, don't have unprotected oral sex with him. And yes, I'm ashamed to admit, when he sat down and pulled himself out, logical was the last thing on my mind. All I could think of was, "ok I've always wanted to try this, now I can".

Too bad having a nice looking woman kneeling in front of him doing her best to make it happen (ejaculate), could not overcome the reality stuck in his brain (whichever one he was listening to), that Lesley was still pre-op and thus unable to do that one thing cis females take for granted, put his penis somewhere other than her mouth.

But even though I should have been upset he was simply a chaser, the thing was, I was totally curious about men. My curiosity simply took over my mind.

He couldn't 'perform' though, no happy ending for him. A pity he didn't let me just keep trying till it was inevitable. I'm sure he'd have succumbed eventually. But he left in a friendly fashion. I got a kiss on the cheek and a goodbye and that was it.

I had to wait till more than a year after that moment of "wow men are a lot of fun to play with" before I got another chance. It was the second boyfriend (yes the first never worked out), that I ended up in a position to actually experience giving a blowjob all the way. I'd agreed to go to his place, not on a first date though, and we were sleeping together (although originally it was just because he didn't drink and drive and thus I had no ride home if I went there in the evening), and I suspect he left the door open for me to 'do something". And I was guessing then too, I had no idea what his signals meant, if they were signals at all.

I asked him if I could touch him, and he was ok with that. And eventually, I asked him if I could suck on him. And eventually, he came. Yes, I actually asked. You have to realize, he was having trouble with my being transgender, he was trying, but I think he was weirded out.

Much later in conversation, he told me I was actually quite a lot better at oral sex than most women. So he thought it interesting I had no real experience (other than the chaser experience). I told him, all I was doing was using my imagination. It took him a while to cum, and I more than once worried I might be hurting him somehow.

So I guess I can at least be amused, I seem to be ok at that one thing. Which I have done only twice.

And that is the entirety of my 'experience". Not much eh.

I think I have been kissed less than 5 times. And only the first one was worthy of mention. And only the first one was one of 'those' kisses. The stuff I read about in my romance novels. Twice from a chaser on the cheek isn't much to get excited about. Once from a once only date on the lips as a "thanks but no thanks" conclusion to he's not coming back date, is hard to get excited about.

My son actually gave me quite the lecture on my stupid expectations with dating this last summer. Apparently, my old-fashioned thinking is worth nothing in 2017. I should just be ok dating and fucking on the first date. If I feel like it.

I really don't know what I feel like, to be honest.
My two times alone with a man's penis to play with, only confirmed I 'want' a man. But I still don't really know why? And relationships, I try so hard to gain one, but, the moment I'm in that moment when I might get to be intimate, I get so incredibly scared too.

I spend as much time on an online dating site trying to find a man, as I do fretting and worrying if I even should be there at all.
If you are verbally mean to me, I will verbally bite you back.
If you attempt to chastise me for verbally biting someone who was verbally mean to me, I'll verbally bite you too. Don't be quoting me rules either.
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Lesley Niyori
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Re: The extent of my intimate experiences (adult content)

Postby marie » Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:09 pm

You're not five years old. Sorry to point that out. Five year olds like Peppa Pig, Spongebob and colouring in. I had five year olds so I know this. Even my ten year and eight year olds don't have intimate experiences. You can either play the kiddie game and play innocent or give up the pretence snd grow up. You are taking the piss at this point. This has nothing to do with TG issues. Set up your own forum. You are in the wong place.
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Re: The extent of my intimate experiences (adult content)

Postby CeliaEriksson » Mon Oct 23, 2017 5:10 pm

She's gone. Natasha and I pissed her off by kinda saying the same thing on another thread about religion or something.
Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
Mary Tyler Moore.
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Re: The extent of my intimate experiences (adult content)

Postby Natasha_Lynn » Wed Oct 25, 2017 9:16 am

CeliaEriksson wrote:She's gone. Natasha and I pissed her off by kinda saying the same thing on another thread about religion or something.

We're partners in crime, I suppose.
Partially disturbed, totally awesome.
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