Dealing with... Family things...

Significant Others, Family, and Friends

Dealing with... Family things...

Postby Zedarius » Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:51 am

Hello all,
Usually I put most things (especially "me" things) in my running post. However I think this particular thing/issue needs is own post, and I have no idea how to bring this to some family members.

So firstly, my father and step mother are supportive, and have been great for the most part. With my step mother being the better of the two. And this is where the issue lies.

My father although supportive, does say some things (not meant to be bad, negative, or for [that] purpose).
Its not all the time, just every now and then, and it usually brings me down, or can make my dysphoria worse...

Not meant to be the way they are, but... (I'm working on speaking with both about it, it's just kind of hard...). They are kind of things along the lines of "I don't see it" (me being trans), "you don't act masculine/male enough, as [other] trans people", "you don't act like [this] trans person/people" and "I/we didn't see anything (signs, etc.), like [the family] of [this] trans person".

It can really get me down, and often makes me feel like I'm not, or ever going to be trans enough to do the things I know I need to start working towards for my own future and, mental and physical health.

I'm not exactly looking for help or advice (though if you have any, I'd be grateful). It's more I need to put this somewhere, so it's not, all 100% of it, stuck in my head. (It will still be in my head, but maybe not as bad as before)
A body is just a body, they change a multitude of times over someone's life-span...

Gender Clinic Appoinment - June 2018
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Zedarius
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Re: Dealing with... Family things...

Postby Bassybass » Tue Apr 24, 2018 4:28 pm

I wanted to respond to you. My daughter is transitioning m2f and is only 17.
My husband and I really struggled at first, we too, I’m sure said the wrong thing, still do. But, this news is huge, we entered the change curve and denial is a part of that before acceptance comes. What you need to know is that for you, you have had so long to think this through and get used to the change. For parents who love you and want the best for you, they want to understand what’s happening, it’s not easy for old crazy parents like us to get our heads around anything different, we take a long time with everything, different generation you see. So forgive your daft parents for saying the wrong thing, they love you like we love our now daughter, the thing is they are saying things like this so you might help them understand, they feel guilty because they weren’t there for you when you were working through this because they didn’t notice the change and that hurts. They want to understand and will have questions, get comfortable answering them, you might not know the answers, it doesn’t matter, it’s a journey, not just for you but for mum and dad too.
I hope all goes okay for you. If all else fails, just tell dad, you will be choosing his retirement home so he better watch out lol
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