somewhat sad story

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somewhat sad story

Postby SFPT » Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:56 pm

After my introduction thread, I disappeared from this website. I checked on it every day, but I never posted anything. I was busy, and at the same time I was trying to bring those subliminal thoughts out so I could deal with them -- the little thoughts you get that aren't upsetting by themelves, but build up and up until you're just sad about nothing.

The reason I was doing this is because one of those thoughts was particularly upsetting. Recently I told my "secret" to a friend I thought was close. He didn't believe me! I was trying to explain my situation, but he simply refused to accept I was a girl, even going as far as saying "Is this a joke?" in such a rude way that I wanted to cry. I haven't contacted him since, and he hasn't contacted me either.

Sorry for this, I just needed to vent to get those sumbliminal thoughts out of my head so I can stay positive as I move through this process.

SFPT
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Re: somewhat sad story

Postby Andina » Tue Mar 14, 2017 9:55 am

There are numerous pot holes along this road. This will strengthen your resolve for the next one.
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Re: somewhat sad story

Postby Rheya » Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:32 pm

This is not a rare story. The sad truth is that in many cases transgendered people have to mostly, or completely, leave their life behind and start a new one as the person they truly are, not for any fault in ourselves but because of faults in people and society.

There is nothing wrong with feeling like you do, there is something wrong in the feelings of the people who reject you.
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Re: somewhat sad story

Postby SFPT » Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:06 pm

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support.

I don't exactly know anyone else I trust enough to come out to. Maybe I'll meet someone new, you never know.
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Re: somewhat sad story

Postby Rheya » Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:10 pm

Support can go a long way, but remember to learn to take care of yourself and don't expect to find anyone else to do it for you. Even though transgendered people share in gender dysphoria and we can all understand one another more so than any cisperson could we all still experience and deal with our gender dysphoria differently. Figuring out who you are and how you feel, and what those feelings mean, is up to you.

Transgenderism is a tricky problem. In many ways it is tediously straight forward, but social gender norms muddle almost everything and it can be difficult to accept that some feelings are real - even that raging gender dysphoria is genuine - even when they make themselves unbearable every single day. Don't let your judgement be clouded by the shit of society and try to come to terms with what you need to do in order to have a calm and decent life.
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Re: somewhat sad story

Postby CuteButLooksPregnant » Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:33 pm

SFPT wrote:I don't exactly know anyone else I trust enough to come out to. Maybe I'll meet someone new, you never know.


If you hang around this website, I'm sure that many others here potentially could be your friends, and would be more than welcome for you to share with them whatever is on your mind, heart, and soul.
I'm Ponytails, a Twin Tail SpunGold

"Put all of our dreams and wishes into these Twin Tails;
Just like how we live by our streaming hair;
With Red Courage;
And Blue Love;
And Yellow Hope; to draw strength from...."

" TAILS ON !"
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Re: somewhat sad story

Postby SFPT » Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:50 pm

CuteButLooksPregnant wrote:If you hang around this website, I'm sure that many others here potentially could be your friends, and would be more than welcome for you to share with them whatever is on your mind, heart, and soul.

That's precisely what I came to this website for -- sharing what is on my mind. I just hope I can gather the courage (and money) to see a therapist I can speak to directly.
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Re: somewhat sad story

Postby MikiSJ » Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:49 pm

Participate. Being a spectator means you only get on the playing field after everyone has left for home or a beer.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks. Doodling is allowed. I have started a new chapter but will still use a pencil.
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Re: somewhat sad story

Postby Ashley@Heart » Wed Mar 15, 2017 9:06 pm

I feel rather bad being late to this.. lots of things going on for me right now is my only excuse. I honestly have been very slow myself at coming out to people. So I don't have much experience in dealing with friends. But sadly being rejected by long time friends is a very real risk. Please do not give up on reaching out or being true to yourself out of fear of rejection.

Anyway.. keep sharing I know sharing with others has helped me tremendously.
-Carolyn

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”
― e.e. commings
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Re: somewhat sad story

Postby marie » Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:33 pm

See nex post
Last edited by marie on Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: somewhat sad story

Postby marie » Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:39 pm

Don't let it put you off too much. Not everyone can or will accept or understand. It's a fact of life. He might accept it eventually or he might not.

I recently came out to my closest sister. Her reaction was positive but also to ask why it took so long to tell her. The reason was the negative reaction of two other sisters when they found out. They put me off and in doing so I missed out on her support for many years. That was a mistake on my part. Telling people close to you is a risk but one worth taking.
But also despite her acceptance she had no inkling and very little understanding. We simply cannot expect people to instantly embrace the idea especially when much of the time we barely understand what's happening ourselves.
There's no easy answers.
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