acting feminine

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acting feminine

Postby caseylove1288 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:20 pm

hey its Casey and I came out recently that i am a girl. I'm 23 and over the years I have been forced to act like a man and now its a habit. How do I act feminine? How do I undo this learned behavior??
Just follow your heart ..it knows what's best :)
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Re: acting feminine

Postby MikiSJ » Sun Sep 24, 2017 2:44 am

If you live near to a shopping mall - go watch the women and how they act.

Try to emulate, but don't overdo it.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks. Doodling is allowed. I have started a new chapter but will still use a pencil.
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Re: acting feminine

Postby DawnF » Sun Oct 01, 2017 8:10 am

I find that women's sunglasses really help, and let's face it, some biological women do look (and, act) like biological men. Until HRT kicks-in (and, perhaps, SRS down the road), I would just have that as a mindset. Well, at least that's what I am trying to do right now.
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Re: acting feminine

Postby Lesley Niyori » Sun Oct 01, 2017 10:00 am

What makes a girl, a girl.

She's not her vagina, and it isn't her womb or her ovaries. Because if it was, then transgender women don't exist.

I'm not accepting that.

It's not her menstrual cycle, and to be clear, menstruation is not just blood in your panties. Not all women can menstruate and that includes cis females.

She's not her clothing/makeup/accessories.

And it's not her being able to give birth to babies because plenty can't (have babies).

I have pondered what makes a woman, not a man. I'm not sure there is an answer.

I have been in the infantry. I like tanks. I play war games. I love power tools. I like trains. I have a fondness for multi-tools. So what.

I sleep with a teddy bear. I like china dolls. I like Barbie dolls. I like makeup, dresses, and long hair. I prefer to wear bright floral patterns. I enjoy shopping for shoes, heels as well. I dream of wearing a white wedding dress. I consider myself a princess. I tend to gossip, girl talk. I love romance novels. I dream of Mr. Right finding me.

I have a problem with swearing. I hate wearing dirty beat up clothing. I think my place is in the kitchen. I wish I COULD have a baby. I'm not very aggressive, I try not to be loud. I tend to get out of the way of men.

I make the average feminist cringe.

I'm something of a crybaby. I tend to be all about nurture. I have no desire to fight for the sake of fighting. I don't need a gun, I don't wish to go hunting and kill something. I'm complicated.

I'd rather go to a potluck dinner and drink wine instead of watching a football game and drink beer.

I love shopping in general. If you are in a rush to get in and get out, you sure don't want to shop with me.

I'd rather attend a baby shower or a Tupperware party than going to a car show or play some basketball.

When I role game, it's all about the role. I don't mindlessly kill things, I want to interact with things. Yes, I'm inclined to talk to the monster and ask him why he's doing what he's doing. He's not just a route to more armor and better weapons. I actually expect a carefully developed plot line, not just reasons for action.

I've been known to lick my fingers when eating something messy and do it in a visually flirtatious fashion. My sister in law always bugs me about it. She's not single though and doesn't need to find a man. And hasn't had to do so for more than 30 years. She has no idea how hard it is to date in 2017.

Being feminine is not easy. And if you base it on cis females walking in and out of a coffee shop, good luck. Uggh the feminine tragedies I see every day. Females obviously wearing their privilege in all the wrong ways. Nothing but black clothing, and 2 sizes too small. Stretch pants that do them no favours. Hair that looks closer to a birds nest. Loud and foul-mouthed. How they get pregnant escapes me. Can anyone really afford that much beer? How does a man get it up if he's drunk?

If I haven't annoyed anyone with this post, I'll be surprised, but, I think 'feminine' has become politically incorrect. I have zero desire to be anything at all like politically correct. I'm old-fashioned indeed.
Just trying to cope.
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Re: acting feminine

Postby DawnF » Sun Oct 01, 2017 12:02 pm

Well stated, Lesley!

I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian Church; today, I am an atheistic Darwinist. Sorry, but we were simply not created "male and female"; sex evolved because there is so much more that Nature can "accomplish" (in its undirected path to Us) with sex than with asexual reproduction, and shortly after sex evolved, there was the Cambrian explosion some 600 million years ago, and that's when things really started to "rock" in the natural world.

But, Nature is, for the reasons that you stated, not black or white, nor male or female.
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Re: acting feminine

Postby Demon » Mon Nov 13, 2017 11:47 am

caseylove1288 wrote:hey its Casey and I came out recently that i am a girl. I'm 23 and over the years I have been forced to act like a man and now its a habit. How do I act feminine? How do I undo this learned behavior??


I had the same problem. Thing is, my whole life I was effete and acted like a girl, and everybody bullied me and made fun of me for it. So over the years, my subconscious made me act more and more manly.

What it's got to do with is, fear of society. Once you stop being afraid of society, you can act effete again. What also helps is, just imagine yourself as a girl, and relax. The more you are relaxed the more girly you will be.

I have been in the infantry. I like tanks. I play war games. I love power tools. I like trains. I have a fondness for multi-tools. So what.
Liking guns and trains doesn't seem actually masculine, both are strong, phallic objects, psychologically you'd associate them with females craving them. For example, one time I talked with these 2 random female feminine women, they said if it wasn't for their country brainwashing gender values on them as children, they wish their parents bought them some trains.

Like one time I had a dream that there were tanks in the dream, and I was building a videogame where I had to exactly calculate the perfect damage ratio and weapons layout to make perfect, balanced gameplay.
The dreams focus wasn't really on the fighting itself, but the mathematical and logical ratios making balanced gameplay.

I have three types of dreams, dreams where I am female, dreams where I am male, and dreams where I am just this, invisible entity with no real identity. When I am female I am the happiest in my dreams and wake up feeling happy. When I am male sometimes they are exciting dreams, but some of them are nightmares, however since I am a demon, I enjoy the nightmares. When I am an invisible entity, these are the dreams about mathematics, logic, enlightenment, and intellectualism usually.

The point I was trying to get to is, when I woke up from that tank dream, I said, I should make this tank game, but then I didn't feel like it, it all felt pointless and depressing, a waste of time. I feel like all male and female activities are futile. I never felt comfortable on the basketball court, there were too many rude and loudmouth males with too much obnoxious profanity. Watching sports seemed pointless to me, the only one I ever enjoyed watching is the superbowl. I lost interest in knitting and cooking after I went through puberty, still played with dolls well into my adulthood, until I started dying of loniliness, and loss interest in those too. All activities seem futile, even the glory of internet posting, I cannot even hold on to that forever. Car shows are boring. Either start racing (on something that isn't a boring oval) or get out. Sometimes it feels like what gender best describes me is no gender at all, just a cloudy wisp of nothing.
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Re: acting feminine

Postby Demon » Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:12 pm

Lesley Niyori wrote:I tend to gossip, girl talk.

Same here, though I'm not sure if that's something I should be proud of exactly.

I love romance novels.

I don't because, they are too cis.

I dream of Mr. Right finding me.

I dream of Ms. Right finding me.

I hate wearing dirty beat up clothing.

Good.

I think my place is in the kitchen.

Long as you can cook good meals, I have no problem with this.

I enjoy shopping for shoes, heels as well.

I don't, the shops are too cis and none of the shoes fit.

I wish I COULD have a baby.

Same here.

I dream of wearing a white wedding dress. I consider myself a princess.

Same here.

I don't need a gun, I don't wish to go hunting and kill something.

Before adulthood I hated hunters and thought they were evil, but as I matured I realized they were the good guys and the meat industry and average people were the evil ones. Anyway, the point of a gun is self-defense against transphobes, not hunting.

I'd rather attend a baby shower or a Tupperware party than going to a car show or play some basketball.

Personally, I'd rather attend neither of the four. Why am I gonna celebrate someone else's happy relationship when I've been forced into loneliness my whole life? Also, I don't want to go to a Tupperware party unless there's food in the Tupperware.

She has no idea how hard it is to date in 2017.

But I do.

I'd rather go to a potluck dinner and drink wine instead of watching a football game and drink beer.

I prefer wine over beer too, beer is too bitter for me. Also, potluck dinner is better than potato chips and beer.

I have no desire to fight for the sake of fighting.

That's the difference between you and me. Although sometimes I just want to avoid fighting in general.

I love shopping in general. If you are in a rush to get in and get out, you sure don't want to shop with me.

I'm like this also sometimes. I just like to enjoy the glory of the aesthetics.

When I role game, it's all about the role. I don't mindlessly kill things, I want to interact with things. Yes, I'm inclined to talk to the monster and ask him why he's doing what he's doing. He's not just a route to more armor and better weapons. I actually expect a carefully developed plot line, not just reasons for action.

Yeah thats what I hate about modern games. Lazy, lazy game design. Like call of duty, levels look ugly and you just walk in a straight line, get bombarded by hordes of enemies, rinse and repeat. Then you get some super-masculine cutscenes, with no feminine side, and it just feels like, too dry in the desert for me, like the game is sucking out my soul or something.
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Re: acting feminine

Postby Natasha_Lynn » Mon Nov 13, 2017 1:51 pm

Demon wrote:Yeah thats what I hate about modern games. Lazy, lazy game design. Like call of duty, levels look ugly and you just walk in a straight line, get bombarded by hordes of enemies, rinse and repeat. Then you get some super-masculine cutscenes, with no feminine side, and it just feels like, too dry in the desert for me, like the game is sucking out my soul or something.


Modern game design is what happens when the graphical and game engine arms race causes most of the budget to go to the way a game looks instead of the way a game plays, and then marketing makes up much of the rest. Lots of games today are shallow experiences, and I mostly find myself replaying old games that have the level of depth I prefer, like Baldur's Gate. Path of Exile is pretty good and is reasonably new (within the last 5 years or so, I think).

Still, you can always hop out of the vicious cycle of crap completely and play one-person passion projects like Dwarf Fortress or My Summer Car. There's no comparison, as far as I'm concerned, to today's games like Gears of Halo 6: Call of Titanquake.
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Re: acting feminine

Postby Demon » Mon Nov 13, 2017 2:53 pm

Natasha_Lynn wrote:
Demon wrote:Yeah thats what I hate about modern games. Lazy, lazy game design. Like call of duty, levels look ugly and you just walk in a straight line, get bombarded by hordes of enemies, rinse and repeat. Then you get some super-masculine cutscenes, with no feminine side, and it just feels like, too dry in the desert for me, like the game is sucking out my soul or something.


Modern game design is what happens when the graphical and game engine arms race causes most of the budget to go to the way a game looks instead of the way a game plays, and then marketing makes up much of the rest. Lots of games today are shallow experiences, and I mostly find myself replaying old games that have the level of depth I prefer, like Baldur's Gate. Path of Exile is pretty good and is reasonably new (within the last 5 years or so, I think).

Still, you can always hop out of the vicious cycle of crap completely and play one-person passion projects like Dwarf Fortress or My Summer Car. There's no comparison, as far as I'm concerned, to today's games like Gears of Halo 6: Call of Titanquake.


Lol true. However Gears of Halo 6: Call of Titanquake sounds like it would actually be good. Also, wasn't too fond of the graphics of Dwarf Fortress. A game has to be pretty or I don't want to play, I am an escapist kind of gamer who mainly plays to enjoy a new atmosphere.
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Re: acting feminine

Postby Natasha_Lynn » Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:22 pm

Demon wrote:Also, wasn't too fond of the graphics of Dwarf Fortress. A game has to be pretty or I don't want to play, I am an escapist kind of gamer who mainly plays to enjoy a new atmosphere.


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