Going out presenting as male

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Going out presenting as male

Postby KoroSensei » Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:54 pm

Although I don't I "passed" :) at all, I went out today dressed as a guy! It was subtle but definitely masculine (black jeans, and a navy blue sweater). I don't have a binder (i'm still too nervous to buy one) but I wore a sports bra that flattened my chest pretty well.
Even though it's such a small thing, I wanted to share!
It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.
-Albus Dumbledore.
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby Ashley@Heart » Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:13 pm

Congrats! Please don't belittle your progress. There is a whole lot behind that step that you are not giving credit to. We all love to talk about these big moments but barely talk about the hard things you have to get past to reach those points. The whole emotional transition that lead to you saying this is me! That is silently growing and giving you strength.


:thumb: :thumb: :thumb:

I joke with my therapist that my estrogen pills are tic tacs now.. they did not suddenly unlock anything or transform me. But silently and slowly they are. And so are you.
-Carolyn

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”
― e.e. commings
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby KoroSensei » Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:55 pm

Sometimes I'm left speechless at how encouraging you are! :D (it's a good thing so please don't stop).
I plan on trying to dress this way as often as I can. I don't have a lot of super masculine clothes yet (even my gender neutral clothes are more feminine cuts), so sometimes I'll be forced to wear something feminine. But I'm happy that I just said "I'm going to dress how I want today! Instead of worrying what my family will think!"

I didn't actually know that estrogen/testosterone came in pills. I thought everything was shots of some sort, which to someone who's afraid of needles is a good thing! :mrgreen: But I suppose they do look a bit like tic tacs!
It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.
-Albus Dumbledore.
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby MikiSJ » Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:01 am

It is more attitude than clothing. I am MtF yet dress andro 90% of the time. My loose breasts show but about as much as yours with a sports bra. I tie my hair back with a butterfly clip.

Keep on doing what you are doing and little be little you'll realize who you are.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks. Doodling is allowed. I have started a new chapter but will still use a pencil.
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby Ashley@Heart » Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:25 am

Image

My first tic tac... hehe..

On T you will have to forgive my lack of research on the matter but I don't remember hearing of any oral T pills but please don't rely on me. There is a downside to oral E but they prescribe it anyway I think because it is cheaper, more convenient, and does not facilitate drug use.

On dressing.. I am a wimp and try to be subtle most of the time though I find it amusing when I am bending the "rules" how much people seem to not notice. For instance fresh out of group I was wearing slimming bootcut woman's skinny jeans, a woman's cut Micky Mouse t-shirt (with sparkles, I mean really Micky looks like he is made of sequins), hair combed and parted to enhance the waves and curls, my shiny longish nails, my pink-white-blue necklace worn out and rainbow tie dye sneakers. Everyone smiled and treated me like there was nothing odd that I ever noticed as I bought groceries. All anyone seems to notice these days is my longish hair. Though I need to be careful shaking hands now as my nails dig in with a firm handshake now. oops...

The only annoyance I can see for you dressing (if you see it that way) is some may consider you "butch" which may get pretty old at some point. Especially since some in the LGB side of the house are not exactly supporting.

KoroSensei wrote:Sometimes I'm left speechless at how encouraging you are! (it's a good thing so please don't stop).

:oops: :oops: Stop it! You are going to make me blush! I am a touch familiar with what you are going through and oh my I wish I had a place like this when I was your age or younger. Just to have someone tell me I am not broken and that this is real. To be hugged and embraced as Carolyn the first time felt so good.
-Carolyn

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”
― e.e. commings
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby KoroSensei » Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:35 am

On T you will have to forgive my lack of research on the matter but I don't remember hearing of any oral T pills

I just looked it up. Apparently there is a pill for T but it's more expensive and less effective than taking shots. Oh well, I guess I need to get over my needle fear at some point. :)
a woman's cut Micky Mouse t-shirt (with sparkles, I mean really Micky looks like he is made of sequins)

Disco Micky... That sounds like it's amazing!
some may consider you "butch"

I mean, that's better than how people view me right now. So I wouldn't mind.
It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby Ashley@Heart » Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:33 pm

KoroSensei wrote:On T you will have to forgive my lack of research on the matter but I don't remember hearing of any oral T pills I just looked it up. Apparently there is a pill for T but it's more expensive and less effective than taking shots. Oh well, I guess I need to get over my needle fear at some point.


I am so with you on this.. I wouldn't mind giving blood but the big gauge needle scares me and dread finding out I am O- like my mom. I keep hearing the injectable E is better as well but for some reason I can't work up the will to fight for it. Mind you I think there are nicer needles now that you can barely feel so this may be a whole lot of worry about very little. I know when I got my flu shot at work I felt nothing.

KoroSensei wrote:a woman's cut Micky Mouse t-shirt (with sparkles, I mean really Micky looks like he is made of sequins) Disco Micky... That sounds like it's amazing!


I admit I found it neglected at the bottom of our communal t-shirt drawer so I decided to "rescue" it. I would prefer something a bit geekier or humorous but it has the right amount of cute. Now I just have to work up the nerve to wear my new blouse out and buy some accessories to compliment it.


KoroSensei wrote:some may consider you "butch" I mean, that's better than how people view me right now. So I wouldn't mind.


Ok, I just know it can be a issue sometimes I know for myself at some point if I start going out more I may get attention as a effeminate gay man. I have no problem loving men, women, whatever.. but I am not a gay man and is not how I want to be thought of even while in my sloppy too big guy clothes.
-Carolyn

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”
― e.e. commings
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby KoroSensei » Tue Feb 21, 2017 7:46 pm

For some reason, nicer needles makes me think of a cartoon needle apologizing for poking me. :D
I would prefer something a bit geekier or humorous
Yes! I want to get some shirts like that. One of my favorites right now, is a limited edition tee shirt that my favorite YouTuber came out with a few months back! So I'd love to some more like that.
some may consider you "butch" I mean, that's better than how people view me right now. So I wouldn't mind.

I think the reason I don't mind that is because, it's not really about how other people see me. It's how I see myself. It's like, I don't care if people start using male pronouns with me or still see me as a girl, as long as I see myself as male. My opinion might change as things go on, but that's kind of how I feel right now.
but I am not a gay man and is not how I want to be thought of even while in my sloppy too big guy clothes.
Yeah I can get that. I don't care who people love (as long as they can love them freely) but I don't really want to be called a lesbian. But then again, I've never really been attracted to either gender. :P
It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby kris » Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:08 am

Congrats, man. Small step in terms of actions, but big in terms of mindset. If you ever feel feel like you're not quite as confident as you think you should be, trust me, a lot of cis dudes would never have the balls to step even that far out of their comfort zones. It's hard when you don't get to take it for granted people will see your masculinity (in your case), especially when you are just starting out, but that often builds a quiet sort of dignity and strength in trans people. In trans men in particular, it can be a pretty sexy quality.

Sorry if I am being too corny. I am on oxycodone, and I've just passed a huge milestone in my own transition after a long series of seemingly small steps like yours here. They do eventually span great distances. Whole thing makes me a bit giddy and sentimental.

I'ma shut up now. =p
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby MorganWoolf » Mon May 01, 2017 2:41 pm

Congrats!
Did it feel awesome?
Were you scared? (I still get scared sometimes, especially when I'm alone).
I usually get people who circle me at the super market to try to get a look at my face because they're so confused. I just snigger to myself about it so I don't feel so self-conscious.

Cheers to more days towards being yourself!
Do not place me by a star where only it's light can encompass me, instead place me in the darkness. There I can behold the lights of all the stars in the universe.
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby KoroSensei » Mon May 01, 2017 5:38 pm

It felt amazing! And I was more scared that my parents would comment on my clothing choice than anything, but once I got past that, I was really happy!
Sadly, I don't have any confused passersby's. I still look too fem in the face and body shape for that :( My goal right now is for someone to (even if they think it's by accident) call me "sir" in a store :lol:
It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.
-Albus Dumbledore.
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Re: Going out presenting as male

Postby MorganWoolf » Mon May 01, 2017 6:18 pm

I look really fem in the face too actually. But I usually wear guy jeans a t-shirt and a black leather jacket so from behind I look male but from the side, my short hair covers just enough of my face that people start doing this funny lap around me like they're trying to be subtle but their so not.

The first time I was called "sir" I wasn't actually trying. My work uniform is not flattering to the female body and I had short hair. This man was trying to argue with me on some topic (I work at a museum) and I just nodded and answered his questions professionally. He seemed to be getting more and more agitated and his family was getting more and more pissed off at him. They finally dragged him away but before he left he shook my hand and said, "Thank you sir."

I'm fairly certain he was trying to insult me but I had to keep from cracking up. He had no idea how much that pleased me. :lol: It was the first time anyone called me "sir".

The first time is always so memorable. It'll happen one day, and it'll happen when you lease expect it. :)
Do not place me by a star where only it's light can encompass me, instead place me in the darkness. There I can behold the lights of all the stars in the universe.
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